BY AVELLINA BALESTRI

The dawn chill of autumn,

Causing fog at the mouth when we speak

~

The pale sliver of sunlight,

Turning the spider webs to crystal dream-catchers

~

The amber hay bales in the fields,

Surrounded by a halo of hovering particles

~ 

The corn drying on the stalks, crisp and crunchy,

Forming a maze for children’s games

~

The old barns on the hills, chipped and decrepit,

Like the haunted houses in campfire tales

~

The goldenrod, dancing in the wind,

Holding their blonde heads high in the meadow

 ~

The heavy mist in the valley

Swirling ‘round trees once gay green, now elegant orange

~

There is so much life, and yet beneath the surface

The sting of death threatens

~

The bite in the air suggests it,

Piercing clothing to make one shiver

~

There is a stillness settling over the earth

Like the first and last day of creation

~

The birds’ songs are softer

Like Elfin lays lamenting a fading glory

~

The color of the leaves is bursting bright

But will soon turn to blood, wither, and fall

 ~

The moments seem to crawl by

Like the spread of frost across a window pane

~

The nights come suddenly, like a thief

Without the summer sun to ward them off

~

They are heavier now

Like the winter blankets taken from attic chests

~

My soul is burdened

By an awareness of aloneness

~

As empty as a jack-o-lantern

With a nightmarish expression of despair

~

As hollow as the eye-sockets

Of a moldering skull

 ~

As meaningless as the echo

Of cawing crows flying over the pumpkin clusters

 ~

I long for fire instead of ice

For understanding instead of confusion

~ 

For the embrace of loved ones long gone

Instead of my own arms braced against the cold

 ~

But most of all, I long for God

~ 

To ask to feel the presence of Him

Is a thing that is known to wound

~ 

Agony comes with ecstasy

Even for the saints, among whom I hold no place

~

Brilliance is blinding and searing

When it pierces the smothering blackness

~

But I would take it, nonetheless

~

Sink me into fire, plunge me into ice,

But do not let me wander alone in shadows

~ 

Let us have a place all to ourselves

Where I can lay my head on Your breast

 ~

Where I may hear your voice whispering

Out of the gentle breeze, no longer chilling

 ~

Let us be lover and beloved in the depth of the night

And let not my own self separate us

~ 

For You are the Love of Loves

The delight of all things, the breath of life

~

Let me at least tend the wounds

That I caused you to receive, as a handmaid

~ 

Let me feel the peace that comes with fullness

For an instant, to light the winter’s dark

~

Be the flame of autumn in this changing, chilling world

And in my trembling heart

 ~

It is all I need