~ by Rachel Atterholt
It had been so long since he had been back there. And yet, Pete’s World was precisely as he had remembered it. He stood on Bad Wolf Bay, his feet in the metaphysical sand… for of course he was not actually there.
He was burning up three stars to go back – to just see one more glimpse of her – for he was dying again, shards of light bleeding from his gaping wounds, his body wanting to regenerate, but not yet.
Somehow, he had remembered her after his last regeneration. He was the Eleventh version of himself now and was not only loved but was in love with someone else now. Someone just as brave and strong as her.
Yet, Rose was still a distant dream, like an angel who haunted his past and his memories. He thought he’d forget her this time, and he wanted to make sure that she was safe and well. He wanted to say goodbye.
In the distance, he thought he saw her, standing out like a beacon on the shore. Beside her stood a ghost of his former self, a human form of him. He moved towards her and then stopped.
Before him was a child, playing alone, except for the sticks she had gathered to her as she drew something in the sand. He walked closer to her and then froze. Symbols scattered all around her, but they weren’t the ordinary symbols seen in caves, nor the rudimentary drawings of a child. It was Gallifreyan; she was writing words – a single sentence.
‘Bad wolf loved the Doctor.’
“Excuse me,” he said, stepping closer to the girl. “What are you writing?”
The girl looked up, her yellow hair blowing in the breeze as two piercing blue eyes focused on him.
“I’m not sure,” she said in a singsong voice, looking down again. “I think I won’t know till I’m older. That’s what mum says, anyways.”
He knelt down. “Who is your mum?”
The girl pointed to the ghosts on the shore, confirming what he already knew – confirming what he felt deep inside his soul. She was hers… and, in a strange way, she was his too.
“Are they good to you? Your mum and dad?” he asked.
The girl smiled. “Yes, they are. They love to tell me stories.”
“About what?”
“Different worlds. Different times. My mum told me she journeyed with the Doctor in a phone booth and traveled the stars.”
The Doctor stared across at Rose and his past self.
“One day, I’m going to travel with the Doctor too.”
He looked back, a smile on his face. “Are you now?”
“Oh yes,” she said, beaming with light and confidence. “When I’m much older. I’ve seen it in my dreams.”
He wondered if, even though his past self was mostly human, some of the Timelord had trickled down into her cells and created something altogether new and amazing – something wonderful. “Brilliant,” he grinned.
“What is?” the girl said, absent-minded, continuing to draw symbols.
The doctor shook his head. “What’s your name?”
“Gallifrey,” she replied, sending his two hearts into a frenzied war of heartbeats. “What’s yours?”
“Smith. John Smith,” he replied.
“No, it’s not silly,” she laughed. “But I’ll pretend it is anyways.”
“Do you… do you know who I am?”
“No… but I think, deep down, I do… and I’ll figure it out soon.”
Rose started toward them. He stood; time had run out. He had to leave. And yet, he didn’t regret seeing the girl, the daughter of the Doctor.
“I have to go now, Gallifrey. But tell your parents hello from me, would you?”
She nodded.
“And Gallifrey?” he said, getting her attention. “One day you will travel to the stars, and it’s gonna be mad.”
The child of Gallifrey grinned up at him, her face holding an ethereal light. “Goodbye, Doctor Smith. Be safe.”
“I will,” he said, and then he was gone.
The dream – the journey – ended with the last light of the last star he burned. He stood there, in his box, his home. He smiled, despite it all, as the light of his regeneration filled his lungs, seeping through every pore.
The last thing he saw, behind his eleventh incarnation’s eyes, was the child’s smile before his eyes changed and he saw again.
She would travel to the stars with him one day, but he would have a much different face then.
For more fantastic articles from our latest magazine issue ‘Space’, please click on the below link:
F&F Fall 2019: Space