[To my husband David who moved the sky’s barriers for me so I could fly: I love you so. David Jr., Cristiana, Julia, Caterina, Nicolas and Anthony my children and my inspiration for this book: Mommy loves you. And to my father and mother, my siblings, and all my relatives in Lebanon who love me so much and who carry me with care and tenderness: you are in my heart.]
Gabriel was running down the hall of the hospital, frightened, looking at his wife’s beautiful face as she was being rushed into surgery. Joyce almost looked as if she was sleeping, lying so still and peaceful on gurney, her hand resting in his.
The sight of the doctors and nurses moving quickly alongside him were what made it hit home to Gabriel that the situation was serious. He heard their seemingly distant voices shouting orders and calling for more specialists. It was then that it occurred to him that he should call the children…
***
It had been a very rainy day – dark clouds had covered the sky since morning, and the rain still fell steadily as Gabriel stood alone in the waiting room, looking out of the window, lost and daydreaming. Bright lightning and the rumble of thunder brought him back to the present with its bitter reality. He glanced at the clock which was hanging on the wall – it was the only decoration in this otherwise white, bare room. He had been waiting for almost two hours.
“What is going on in there?” he wondered. Then he began praying, knowing in his heart there was little else he could do. A moment later, the doctor came to him, face stark, voice quiet. He explained that there was a bleed on Joyce’s brain, and she remained unconscious. The doctor said they needed to drain the blood from the brain and then wait for her to regain consciousness.
***
Joyce lay on a bed in room 245 for days upon days. And every day felt to Gabriel like eternity. His beloved wife remained asleep, and he wondered whether she could hear him, feel his presence next to her day and night. He questioned whether she would ever come back to him, to their children. It was both an agony and his only comfort to be with her and pray. He begged the good Lord who had given him this dear wife to bring her back.
When he was not praying, he was talking to her, reminding her of their life together, of their children and all that they were doing each day. Sometimes he would talk out loud; other times he would whisper softly into her ear and stroke her beautiful dark brown hair.
***
Joyce was content in this new place. It was calm, quiet, snow white, and she had the sense that she was floating in the clouds. Days were like minutes for her. She did not know what was happening, but she was content not to have answers. Her reality was beautiful.
Then one day she heard something break through the quiet. Gabriel’s voice. She suddenly heard his words and was horrified at the thought of leaving her dear husband and their little children, whose names she could not seem to call to mind. Yet she knew that she had more than a few young children who depended on her.
“I must go back!” she declared. But where was she – and how could she find her way back?
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