Has anybody out there seen the film “Robin and Marian” with an over-the-hill Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn? I watched chunks of it last year on YouTube, but decided to re-watch it on DVD this year for the “full treatment.” Random commentary…
1. The portrayal of Richard the Lionheart is that of an unhinged nut-job – and a really flat portrayal of one at that. This is Richard Harris, so I guess I was expecting better, but this film has a way of taking normally good actors and kind of juicing them of their impact with hammy writing. Okay, the historical King Richard was certainly a hothead with a brutal streak, but he also had positive qualities which impressed even his enemies. There’s no indication at all that he was just a complete ranting idiot incapable of doing anything with his brain attached. It’s kind of a fad to range from “good king” to “bad king” in these retellings, as opposed to flawed-king-with-good-points-too-and-way-better-than-bro-John.
2. Marian and Robin’s relationship broke down, he abandons her to fight on Crusade with wonkers King Richie, she tries to kill herself, and then somewhere along the line she became a nun…? Okay, wutt?? Why? That sounds so out of character for Robin, and definitely pushing a Romeo and Juliet feel from the start. That alone just throws me, really, as the tone feels like a teen romantic melodrama, but with actors who are… well, let’s just say they should be past this phase. Plus, it’s Audrey Hepburn as Marian, so it feels like a really bad sequel to “A Nun’s Story.” It feels like the producers got together and said, “Let’s do something to sabotage the romance, ooh, let’s!”
3. For some strange reason, while everyone in the story has changed dramatically, the sheriff of Nottingham – played by Robert Shaw – has remained at his post, mystically untouched by time. And his personality is super “bleh.” He’s so “bleh” in fact, that he’s not even definable as a good guy or a bad guy or even an interestingly ambivalent guy… he’s purely “bleh.” Once more… I would expect more from the actor. But one thing we can say for him: he’s the only character thus far in the film who seems to actually know what he’s about. He’s like the dull but dutiful adult in a room of teenage-brained senior citizens – for that reason alone, we want to hug him. In fact, we half want him to capture Robin because Robin’s hyper antics are sure to cause self-harm. He seriously needs stricter day-care.
4. Suddenly Marian’s vows go right out the window in fast order once ancient Rob gets into make-out mode. See, it’s just obvious… Audrey was never meant for the sisterhood. Why keep forcing her into a habit, Hollywood?!
5. Please, ancient Rob… don’t do a stupid over-the-hill duelllll…. oh, yeah, he’s going for it… wow, bleh sheriff is way better than you are at this… only production intervention could save you now… and yep, here comes last-minute production intervention to save you now *sighs*… Farewell, Sir Sheriff! You deserved this win, and it was cruelly robbed from you – but we, the audience, know how hard you tried to spare us from another fifteen minutes of this film! We will never forget you!!! *blows kisses*
6. Okay, I know they’re trying to pull for this “mid-life-middle-ages-crisis” trope, but the monologues are getting a tad repetitive. Ever heard of aging with grace, team? Moving onto new things… like joining a few senior activities groups, bird-watching, stamp collecting, writing your memoirs…
7. Wow. A friend in need is a friend indeed… Marian poisons him, sparing us from yet another “searching for a heart of gold” monologue. Oh yay. She also goes onto tell him she loves him “more than God.” I mean… sorry, I’m a fangirl for RH, but uh… misplaced priorities here, sister… and now I’m having a creepy image of some sort of 007 idol, with the worshipers mimicking hish shpeech shtyle… *ugh*
Wrap up thoughts: I’ll try and say something nice. So, it had some potential in that they at least included a sorta “real feel” in the general handling of the historical background info – like stuff going on in the reigns of Richard and John. Robin does have a few sections where he does explain his “cause” rather well, in the sense of the injustices he’s fought against his whole life long. Some of the dialogue between characters was warmly relatable, particular between Robin and his retirement home worthy merry men. And I actually liked the idea of a melancholic, bittersweet take on the legends, but… just not a tear-jerker teen paperback, please!
Hence, overall… yeah, this honestly felt like a blood-from-an-ancient-stone cash grab – and are we really supposed to think grandpappy Rob is still so hot shirtless? SERIOUSLY?? Nun-maker and nun-breaker… *sighs*
Yes. Thank you.
I saw this film at the cinema when it was released, and it was all the disappointments you have noted, and worse.
The colors in the film even when it was new were flat and sour, and for a Robin Hood that won’t do – Sherwood is a place of beauty and mystery, all in deep, rich colors. For this mess of a movie the producers seem to have found some remaindered film stock on the sale table at a big-box store.
The revisionist trend continues with dim lighting, no sense that there is any good in the world, and with a series of pouting Robins who look like superannuated frat boys emotionally trapped in Psychology 101.
Happily, we will always have Errol Flynn, Richard Green, Olivia deHavilland, Bernadette O’Farrell, Patricia Driscoll, and Alan Wheatley as the best Sheriff of all.