Village in Arabia, circa 7th Century
In the training yard, a middle-aged man and a teenage boy circled and lunged at one another, the air cracking as their weapons clashed.
“I yield!” cried the boy, as he began to lose balance, overwhelmed by the sheer force of his opponent’s strikes.
The man grunted, poking him hard in the side and causing him to crumple to the ground. “See? That’s what happens when you keep skipping practice. You should be spending less time listening to that prattling old woman in the orchard, and more time preparing your defense against me! Want to shame me by getting shredded like wheat in your first battle?”
“I would not wish to disgrace you in that way, Ustad Murad,” the teenager mumbled, “but the lady Nusaybah is a wise woman, who teaches us about our great Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him.”
“You don’t go to her out of piety, but for the love of her war stories. I say she’s making most of it up on the fly.” Murad out of the side of his mouth. “A hag with delusions of grandeur, that’s what she is.”
“She is a companion of the Prophet, who blocked him from his enemies’ swords with her own body!” the boy insisted. “How can you say such things about her?”
“Qasim,” sighed the teacher. “You are young and believe everything you hear. I am a veteran myself and know for a fact that fabricated tales of glory come in by the cartload, especially from camp followers.”
“But I have seen gifts and letters in her home from Caliph Umar himself!”
Murad circulated his shoulders uncomfortably. “Well…maybe she’s got him bewitched too with her tall tales.”
Besides, when was the last time any of the boys he taught had asked to hear his own war stories? No, they just took him for granted, and fawned over that shriveled shrew.
Murad was in a sour mood when the lesson ended, and he returned to his small hovel at the end of the street. He had never managed to purchase anything finer with his meager earnings and felt decidedly disgruntled by it. Soldiers surely deserved better for their service to the ummah.
A plump buxom woman sat at a table, resting her head in her arms.
“Haven’t you finished making supper yet, wife?” he barked.
“Murad, please, I have a headache,” she murmured
“It’s always a headache with you, Aaliyah! Maybe it’s just your excuse to be lazy while I work training these rich brats all day to bring in the bread!”
“I can’t help it,” she said, almost weeping now. “The pain makes everything blur…”
“How do you think I feel?” he snapped. “I should be the one complaining of headaches, when all my students do is idolize the old hag across town.”
His wife lifted her head a bit. “Lady Nusaybah? She teaches girls how to be healers and instructs them in the deen. I didn’t know the boys went to her as well.”
“Don’t ask me what charm she’s put on the little sand snakes,” he huffed, prying some camel shanks out of a pot. “Ugh, like leather, as always! Whoever taught you to cook should be banished to infidel lands!”
His wife reddened with shame, and Murad felt a touch of guilt. He knew it was not fair to punish her like this for failing to bear him any children. But the idea of having no sons to carry on his name haunted him and made him feel as if he were less of a man. He could see nothing to praise in her after that.
“No time to eat a proper meal anyway,” he muttered. “I’ll be late to pray Maghreb at the masjid.”
“Lady Nusaybah is going to be lecturing afterwards,” Aaliyah informed him. “Perhaps you would prefer to pray at home.”
“What is that to me?” he shot back. “I will let not one keep me from praying in my own community! I’ll just finish my salaat and leave before she starts babbling.”
***
Murad turned his head left and right as he finished in Sunnah prayers. He saw an old woman out of the corner of his eye. She had only one arm. It had to be Nusaybah. He stood up, ready to leave the mosque as she went to take her place on the podium.
“Today I want to talk about my time as a soldier,” she said.
And then Murad could not help but stay. He wanted to know what made people so starstruck with her compared to everyone else that had bled for Islam. He sat among the men as the old woman continued.
“It is often hard to talk about those early times when we first followed Rasulullah,” she sighed. “Most of us that starved during the blockades and fought tooth and nail for our survival found the cost greater than the consolations.”
“What cost? Surely sacrificing comforts for the sake of Allah and his prophet is a source of honor,” one young man insisted.
“Do you think that made it hurt any less?” She shook her head. “The moment we accepted this new religion, our own families and neighbors declared us enemies. They took our provisions and drove us into the desert. We had no choice but to fight our own kin. Most of us did not have the opportunity to sit in the company of the prophet. I was one of the lucky ones, but even I can only count our meetings on one hand. He was busy leading a new nation, an army, a congregation. He even struggled to find time to spend time with his own family.”
“And yet you saved his life, did you not?” another man queried.
“It was unexpected, though a part of destiny, nonetheless. I grew up honing my skills with swords and bows, practicing amongst the boys. My tribe scoffed at me for it but respected my progress as well. After taking my shahadah, I marched with my fellow Muslims only with the intention of serving the needs of the wounded as a camp follower. But I armed myself for protection just the same. We had already lost a sister in Badr named Romassa, and I didn’t want to take my chances. But I had never killed anyone, nor had anyone try to kill me, until the Battle of Uhud. It was overwhelming, a mass of nameless faces flushed with bloodlust surrounding us. I was at the holy prophet’s side when they broke through our ranks and cut us off. They went straight for our beloved Nabi. I had never been so terrified in my life. I wanted to run, to save myself. But the instinct to protect him, to shield him from their blows, was stronger. Maybe it was one of the angels making use of my form. But whatever compelled me, I took the strikes meant for him, and so have gained famed of which I am unworthy.”
One of the women called out to her, “You deserve the fame!”
“Do I? No, it was Allah’s will, to preserve His messenger, and I merely the instrument. We all have a purpose to fulfill. My two sons did nothing less. They wanted to fight for Islam as well, and I could not deny them their request. Both were slain in the cause. They died bravely, martyrs for our ummah. But for a mother, losing her children is far worse than losing the beat of her heart.”
Murad and everyone else in the crowd grew silent, solemn.
“The pain was worth it in the end,” whispered Nusaybah, “All of it was…the war with my own tribesman, the scars I received, the arm cut from my body, and even my children awaiting the day of resurrection. But I pay that price anew every day.” She locked eyes with Murad. “The least we can do in these times of peace is to form closer bonds with one another, as we are brothers and sisters in faith.”
Murad turned his gaze down, regretting ever having insulted this woman behind her back. Her voice was so wise, her eyes so sincere, he could no longer doubt her story. He knew now that his own jealousy had been blinding him.
“Perhaps we all have different sides to us, and many roles to fulfill,” she remarked wistfully. “I was a mother, then I became a warrior. I nurtured, and I fought. The prophet, peace be upon him, was as staunch a man as ever stood proclaiming the message in the streets or swinging a sword on the field of battle. And yet he was tender with his loved ones, helping his wives with their chores and playing with his children. Balancing the different aspects of oneself is a difficult task. The nafs can easily rise up and take control. All those impulses, emotions and egos coming to the front. The prophet was not an ascetic, but he led a life of simplicity, putting a tight grip on his impulses. We need that example to steady us when we could not trust our own hearts. Perhaps we would all do well to more closely follow his example instead of merely praising him with our lips.”
As the lecture concluded and the congregants left, Murad approached Nusaybah sheepishly. “I…I have always struggled with my passions…my anger, my pride. But these things made me strong. They made me fight well for our religion. How then could they not be gifts from Allah?”
“Fighting and killing in anger is not wise,” she stated. “The prophet’s nephew Ali is a man of great wisdom, and he was said to avoid killing when anger took hold of him. Our prophet himself said the greatest jihad is the one against our nafs.”
Murad bowed his head. “So our passions are to always be denied then?”
“If you control them, they can be turned to healthy purposes. But if they control you, the Shaitan will drag you to the fire. There is such a thing as righteous anger. But you must train that emotion, just as I see your arm is strong from practice with the sword. There is such a thing as noble pride, but it must be sheathed in humility and service to others. Do you understand?”
Murad nodded. “Yes, I understand.”
“Very well then.” Nusaybah patted him on the arm. “Now if you will excuse me, I need to do wudu. I like to perform zhikir at this time, and it takes me…some additional time.” She pointed to her empty sleeve.
Murad swallowed. “Might I…have the honor of assisting you?”
She smiled. “Very well, young man.”
***
Qasim’s movement had grown tighter, more deliberate since Murad had last sparred with him. The boy was even switching stances without getting caught.
“Very good,” said Murad, saluting the boy. “You’ve improved. Must be practicing again, eh? Did your father give you a lecture about wasting his money on me?”
Qasim smiled. “Lady Nusaybah told me that I should pay special attention to everything you taught me. When a few of my friends and I showed off with sticks for her, she said that she liked our fighting style, and thought that we only could have learned the skill from a veteran such as yourself.”
Murad smiled softly. “She said that, did she?”
The boy nodded.
“You know, I was wrong to speak badly of her to you,” he confessed. “I set a very poor example to those in my charge. The Quran warns us that backbiting is among the greatest sins, yet I have been guilty of it far too often these days. It was especially unforgivable given all that she has suffered for our deen.”
“Lady Nusaybah believes anything can be forgiven the one who supplicates,” Qasim said. “And she clearly has nothing but respect for you and your service.”
“She is truly among the noblest and bravest of believers,” Murad said, “and I am proud to have fought for the same cause as her.”
“You did battle with the Byzantines, didn’t you?” asked Qasim, wide-eyed. “You’ve never told me about it before.”
Murad chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his neck. “Well, you never asked before. But there was that one time…” He paused. “Umm…this may have to wait. I need to be getting home to help my wife with her cooking. She has headaches, and though the poultices from Lady Nusaybah have been helping, she needs to get her rest.” He folded his hands behind her back. “She…needs to be treated as she deserves. It’s long overdue.” He reached out and patted the boy’s shoulder. “Care for camel shanks and rice? You’re welcome to come with me, if you don’t mind helping with the dishes.”
The boy nodded. “And will you finish telling me about the Byzantines?”
“Yes, about them…there I was, ten to one…”
~
Author’s Note:
Nusaybah’s descendents would ultimately move to Jerusalem, and during the reign of Salahuddin Ayubi, they became the caretakers of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. To this day, they serve as a neutral party to hold the keys, mediating between Eastern and Western Christian factions seeking entrance. They take their lineage to Nusaybah seriously, as well as their position as arbiters.