Dear Santa,
For sixteen years I’ve watched with bitter disappointment as every other king, queen, lord, lady, commoner, and fairy has received whatever their heart desired from your great big bag of toys while my wish remained unfulfilled. Don’t you know how much it hurts my feelings when you don’t answer my request? Don’t you know how angry I’ve gotten about your sorry lack of concern for me and my goals?
Seriously, I guess you just don’t realize the kind of power that the Mistress of All Evil holds and how I could so easily wipe you and all you hold dear off the face of the planet if you don’t get your act together and help me find the lost Princess.
Don’t you know that time is running out? The lost Princess will be sixteen soon so you’d better send me that contingent of elves to help my worthless goons because I can make things really difficult for you if you let my curse expire without fulfillment. I mean, don’t you know how stupid my goons are? I hope your elves are smarter. They better be, or you can bet that Mrs. Claus won’t be baking cookies for you ever again!
Sincerely,
Maleficent