Dear Santa,
I know that the Metropolitan Police has forbidden me from having a pet for the rest of my life, but I think a puppy for Christmas would be just the thing to help me with my rehabilitation.
I’d just love to have the opportunity to run my hands over a soft fluffy creature again and cuddle with it while I dream about how great I would look with its beautiful fur draped over my shoulders. Of course, if you can only manage fit a small one into your bag, I could settle for dreaming about a new fur hat too.
I’m telling you, Santa, if you send me a puppy or two for Christmas I’m sure that I’ll be able to return to the workforce a lot faster than if I still had to go out a steal another litter before I could begin working on my new clothing line.
You wouldn’t ever refuse me the opportunity to become and productive member of society again, would you? Think of all those poor orphans around the world who will be cold this Christmas without a nice warm fur coat. You wouldn’t refuse to help them, would you?
Sincerely,
Cruella De Vil