Fellowship & Fairydust

With thanks to Justin Wiggins, who mixed up the Attenborough brothers and accidentally inspired this satire.

This week, we look at a rare specimen. It lives in the heart of Oxford, in a dwelling dominated by two squat clay structures. Experts call its dwelling the Kilns. He’s been transplanted hundreds of miles from his original habitat in Belfast and lived here for most of his adult life. Throughout his life, he will travel dozens of miles by foot, usually with a friend or two, but always return to this spot. Other creatures may be intimidated by his bellowing welcome cries, but beneath his bellowing lies a certain warmth.

Yes. It’s the Northern Irish Protestant apologist.

Monogamous, this specimen has spent most of his adult life caring for an older female. We call her Janie. She passed away less than three years ago, and his life has settled into a new routine. His regular diet of red meat and a drink made from fermented wheat grains. Walks with his brother or a friend. He spends his days lecturing the younger members of his species at one of the community gathering grounds. When not interacting with the young, he makes markings on wood pulp with ink. Periodically, he stops for a snack. Tobacco rolled into a paper shoot, which he sets alight and smokes. Yes, life is good. Predictable.

Little does he know that something new and exciting is approaching.

She’s traveled thousands of miles away from Staatsburg, New York. They have communicated with markings in the past, but this will be their first time face-to-face. She has two children, who have not made the journey with her this time. She has her own brash manner, which soon offends or inspires whoever she meets. Yes, it’s the Jewish-American Episcopalian freelancer.

Recently alone, after nasty fights with her mate in America, she is trying to figure out a new direction in life. Let’s see what happens when they meet up.

The meeting has been hesitant so far. The apologist and his brother have definitely accepted her on a platonic level. But will it progress to something more?

Five months into the friendship, bad news from home. The freelancer’s mate back in Staatsburg has had enough and is courting again. The freelancer returns home.

She makes overtures to reconcile, but he is not responding.

She takes the two offspring with her and journeys back across the ocean. A new home awaits.

They settle in the large community of London. Still, she makes frequent visits to the Kilns. The apologist and his brother accept them as friends. A year later, she moves her offspring closer to Oxford. The apologist’s friends notice. Surely, something amorous will follow.

The apologist hesitates. Perhaps friendship is as far as this relationship will go.

A year into her year into her resettlement, there’s trouble. The heads of the larger community, or bureaucrats as we call them, are trying to eject her from the island. The apologist comes to her defense, offering protection as his mate. She accepts. But they stay in separate habitats. For the moment.

Almost nine months have passed under the new arrangement, and they seem to have settled in. But a shock is coming.

At nightfall, the freelancer falls, breaking her leg. The prognosis is not good. She has cancer. In an advanced case, life expectancy is measured in months, not years.

Let’s see what happens.

The apologist, at long last, makes overtures. It seems the moment we have been expecting from the start of this documentary is at last going to happen.

A glorious surprise. Six months after her fall, the freelancer has made a surprising recovery. Her partner, in contrast, is struggling with osteoporosis. Still, they are a devoted couple. His brother has warmed up to her as well. Her offspring flourish in the new home.

For three years, their health lasts. The freelancer partners with the apologist on his latest marking. It’s a project he has carried around for nearly forty years, never finishing.

But paradise is not meant to last. Three years after her recovery, the freelancer’s symptoms return. There will be no return to health this time.

His partner gone, the apologist struggles to find a new purpose. He continues to make markings on paper and spends time with the two offspring he has adopted. They grieve together and continue living as best they can.

After another three years, the apologist passes away. The brother lives for another decade, his manners forlorn. One of the two adopted offspring stays in England. The other leaves within a few years, taking a long trip to Australia.

The love story has been full of surprises and dashed hopes. But despite the pain, they strive for happiness. Hope continues, and even under immense pressure, love and care may flourish.

This has been David Attenborough in a special episode of the Human Planet.