Fellowship & Fairydust

Part of an ongoing web serial perhaps inspired by The Screwtape Letters. Unless otherwise noted, “the Ex-CEO” refers to God, “the opposition” to the side of the angels, and so on.

Read the previous installment here.

To: Indignation, Overseer of Ekron Initiative (American Evangelical Division)

Date: [Exact Date Redacted, Circa 2000]

From: Malice, VP for 8th Circle of Hell (Global Initiatives Branch)

Subject: Available Resources

Indignation,

There are many things I could say about your last message. Few of them are printable, so I will try to maintain my composure as I write this.

In the first place, remember you are not working in the same area in which you last worked. Your new targets live in America, not Europe, and you will follow principles that are proven to work on American targets. Kindly keep in mind you are working in my offices, under my care, and you rise or plummet entirely on my whim. You may have some experience working with young people from religious backgrounds, but you are hardly irreplaceable.  

Moving on to your question, it appears you don’t realize how many resources are at your disposal. You apparently feel that the fact your targets come from so many different branches means they don’t have much of anything in common. By your logic, this means they don’t have common factors that apply to all of them, factors which we can exploit.

The truth is there are several factors that apply to all (or nearly all) of your targets. Your targets would like to believe they acquired all their views on faith from their individual communities or through careful study. The full story is much more interesting. The reality is their views on faith often have more to do with what they buy and where they learn than anything else.¹

In the last two decades, evangelicals have turned alternate religious products and institutions into an empire. “Christian schools,” “Christian entertainment,” and “Christian award shows” are simply the peaks in an ever-growing mountain range. These products extend even to things which previous generations would have called heretical, such as “Christian poker chips.”

Each of these products and institutions gives your targets implied messages about what a “healthy Christian life” looks like. Thanks to our (or perhaps I should say my) efforts, these products usually suggest that artists can only use their gifts in a few ways. Thus, these products ultimately stifle their needs for expression.

For example, your targets will find that the average Christian magazine has numerous articles about “Contemporary Christian Music” but rarely mentions musicians working in mainstream music. This implies quite strongly that there is something deeply wrong with artists who don’t work in Christian entertainment. Nothing conveys disapproval so effectively as an awkward silence.

At times these products and institutions also suggest other messages (such as how Christians should react to suffering and hardship) that meet our agenda splendidly. 

In other words, your targets have dozens of religious influences that are second nature to their upbringing. Years of progress ensure that when it comes to art, most of these influences preach a shallow, emasculated creed. In my next message, I will discuss how you can take advantage of these influences.

Given your childish ignorance, perhaps you would also enjoy pictures that explain the next concept using flannelgraphs? 

Infernal Regards,

Malice

Vice President of the 8th Circle of Hell

(Global Initiatives Branch)

Editor’s Notes:

1. In Reading Evangelicals, Daniel Silliman suggests that “evangelicals” may be best understood not in political or doctrinal terms, but from the “discourse communities” they have built such as Christian bookstores.

Cover Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash