Fellowship & Fairydust

Ship’s counselor’s log, supplemental, Commander James Troi, reporting: I was able to diffuse any anger that Captain McCoy felt towards me because of my overzealous efforts to persuade her to relax and I successfully engaged her in the relaxing activity of playing chess with me in her ready room for two hours during her lunch break. Commander Stevens was pleased with my success and I am happy to report that the captain has agreed to play chess with me again.

James lay on his bunk, feeling dazed with exhaustion, but happiness at being able to help Amanda rest.

“And to think,” he thought, “she asked if we could play again!”

At this moment, James’ cousin, N’ka, came down through the hatch that was on the ceiling of their quarters and leaned against their bunks.

“Sooo, you look happy” grinned N’ka, “I take it she agreed to play?”

“Yes,” smiled James, “We played for two hours!”

“And she whipped your butt, didn’t she, Cousin?” N’ka teased.

“Yes,” said James, sitting up, careful not to hit his head on the bunk above, “How did you know?”

“Easy, you forget she and I have sparred together, with that Vulcan memory she can recall every chess strategy known to sentient life, and she thinks like a warrior who plays to win!”

“Boy did she ever!” James shook his head, “She was vicious, N’ka!”

“And you kept coming back for more, Cousin,” laughed N’ka, “Maybe I need to worry about you!”

“Well, I did want to encourage her to keep playing so she would continue to relax, for the therapeutic benefits, of course.”

“Yeah, suuure, therapeutic benefits,” N’ka rolled his eyes, “Face it, Cousin, you wanted to spend time with her!”

“All right, I admit it,” sighed James, “It was nice spending time with Amanda outside of work.”

“Amanda!? You’re on a first name basis, already? You smooth operator, Cousin,” N’ka winked.

James blushed slightly, “Well, she does like to be on a first name basis with her senior officers.”

“Still, it’s promising. So, when is your next ‘therapeutic’ session, Cousin?”

“She suggested we play chess on the holodeck. Apparently there is a program for New York City’s Central Park in the twenty-first century. She said it has outdoor chess tables.”

“Oooo, you’re going to a park!? Wow, sounds like she is the smooth operator. Did she mention food?”

“Um, no, she didn’t. She seemed more concerned about a place where we could play chess.”

“Ah, you have a perfect opportunity! Pack a picnic basket!”

“You don’t think that would be too forward?” asked Mr. Troi.

“Not at all, you gotta eat, sometime. Here is what you do. Check the records of what foods the captain orders the most from the replicator.”

“She did mention a fondness for chocolate.”

“There you go, Cousin,” smiled N’ka, “Pretty soon you’ll have her eating out your hand.”

“N’ka, I think she is perfectly capable of feeding herself,” protested James.

“I am going have to teach you not to think so literally!” sighed N’ka, “Anyway, let’s take a look at those records!”

“Hm, let’s see,” said James, glancing over his padd, “Well, Amanda seems to have tastes that run the gamut of several species.”

“Makes sense, I see many references to ‘Southern’ dishes.”

“I think that refers to the southern part of North America,” said James, “Didn’t her father come from there?”

“Let me see,” said N’ka, looking at his padd, “Yep, according to Starfleet records, her father was born in Atlanta, Georgia.”

“Well, that would explain her fondness for Southern cooking. So what would be a good Southern picnic?”

“I’m not sure,” admitted N’ka, “but I do know someone who would.” Tapping his comm badge, he said, “Gallagar to Twig.”

“Twig!? Do you think that is such a good idea?” thought James to his cousin.

“It will be fine, trust me,“.

“Yes, Boss,” Twig’s voice was heard.

“Report to my quarters, on the double.”

Twig could be heard gulping and said, “Am I in trouble, sir?”

“Nope,” reassured N’ka, “I have a question for you.”

“Oh, wall, then I is on my way,” said Twig.

“With our lives, Cousin, certainly with your love life.”

“Why do I not find that reassuring? This is my first venture into courting since Jemeli passed. I remember enough that such things require the utmost tact and delicacy. Neither are qualities that Twig possess in abundance.”

“There he is,” said N’ka and told the door, “Enter.”

Twig came in, looking breathless and particularly disheveled, “What did y’all need, sir?”

“I have a hypothetical question, Twig,” said N’ka, “What would be in an ideal Southern picnic?”

“Would this ‘hypothetical’ Southern picnic have somethin‘ te do with Mr. Troi’s date with the cap’n?” asked Twig.

James blinked a couple times and said, “How did you know about that?”

“Wall, I didn’t know exactly,” admitted Twig, “but this here’s a small ship. Everybody knows you and my cousin the cap’n spent two hours in her ready room eatin‘ lunch.”

“Everybody!?”

“Yep, everybody, an’ I mean everybody, knew that was peeculiar, ’cause the doc practically has to hog tie the cap’n te eat an’, here she is eatin‘ for two hours, private-like with Mr. Troi. An’ then I saw her reequest for hollerdeck time. Again, unless the doc is breathin‘ down her neck, she don’ go te the hollerdeck. Now, Commander Gallagar is askin‘ ’bout the eyedeal Southern picnic? Wall it ain’t hard te see you’re seein‘ te courtin‘ my cousin, that is, I hope you’s a courtin‘.”

“What do you mean, Lieutenant?” asked James.

“What I means is, what is your intentions with my cousin, the cap’n?” demanded Twig.

“My intentions?”

“Yes, seein‘ I’ms her only family on this here ship,” said Twig smugly, “it is my job te see her reputation is not, hm, what’s word?”

“‘Dishonored,'” said N’ka, “See Cousin, I told you Twig would be discreet.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Mr. Troi,” said Twig, “What are your intentions?”

“Oh, they are entirely honorable, Lieutenant.”

“Okay, I figured they was, considerin‘ you and the commander is kinfolk.”

“Besides, Twig,” said N’ka, “I am just as concerned about the captain’s honor as you are. Her reputation is in excellent hands.”

“Wall, in that case, I’ll be happy te hep y’all win my cousin’s heart,” smiled Twig, “Fact is, she’s got hersef a lonely job, bein‘ cap’n an all. ‘Bout time some nice young feller put a smile on her face!”

James and N’ka glanced at each other and grinned.

“Hey, don’t ya’ll be talkin‘ ’bout me again!” shouted Twig.

Gallagar turned his head to Twig, all triviality drained from his face. With a growl, he said, “Would you like to repeat that, Lieutenant?”

“Hold on, N’ka, I don’t think the lieutenant appreciates the seriousness of his accusation.”

“Say what?” said Twig, “Jus’ how bad did I step in it this time?”

“Twig,” said N’ka seriously, “you just accused me of talking about you behind your back while you were in the same room. Do you believe that I have no honor? Do you not know that I would give up my very life to save your own? And yet you would accuse me of such a thing?”

“I’m sorry, sir, it’s jes telepaths, wall, they make me kinda nervous. Sometimes I feel buck naked around ‘em. Course, seein‘ how you y’all can see me, ya’ll already know that.“

N’ka nodded, “Just don’t do it again.”

“And just know,” James added, “there are times I look at my cousin and don’t talk to him.”

“Besides, Twig,” said N’ka, “haven’t been there times you have communicated with your family without saying a word?”

“Sure, eenough, ‘specially my mama, come near suppertime she be settin‘ the table an’ I’d try to sneak a cookie behind her back an’ she’d catch me ever’ single time!”

“And for us, non-verbal communication is such a part of us, it’s easy to slip into it without intending to,” explained James, “especially among close family members.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” said Twig, “Ya’ll act more like brothers than cousins.”

James looked at Twig, cocked his head to one side and asked, “Are you sure, you aren’t telepathic?”

Twig stood dumbfounded for a minute.

“Yes,” said N’ka, “after all, you’re the one who figured out my cousin wants to court the captain!”

Twig opened his mouth and closed it, then said, “Wall, ever’ body in my family said my Granmaw had second sight.”

“Hm, Cousin,” grinned N’ka, “Looks you have a project here, a latent telepath or maybe empath!”

“Oh, no, no, no, I cain’t read people’s minds,” protested Twig, “I just usually know what they’re gonna do before they do it, somehow.”

“I don’t follow y’all,” said Twig, “what in tarnation does that have te do with engineering?”

“Well, I usually don’t have to ask you to do something twice because by the time I ask the first time, you’ve already done it,” explained Gallagar.

“Can we get back to the picnic basket?” asked James, “I am meeting the captain in an hour.”

“I guess Romeo’s gettin‘ itchy,” smiled Twig.

James rolled his eyes, “Why does everyone refer to us as Romeo and Juliet, doesn’t anyone remember how that play ends!?”

“Seriously, a Southern picnic is easy. Now jes‘ before you go in, order hot fried chicken, potato salad, gravy, biscuits an’ plenty of sweet tea.”

“Will a need a Thermos?”

“Fer what?”

“For the tea, to keep it hot.”

“What in tarnation are y’all talkin‘ ’bout Haven’t y’all heard of iced tea?”

“Cold tea!?” said a horrified James.

“Ya’ll wanna win the girl, or not?” demanded Twig, “cause if y’all ain’t serious, I ain’t gonna hep‘ y’all at all.”

“I like how you think, Twig,” smiled N’ka.

James sighed, “Why do I feel like you’re ganging up on me?”

“Because we are, like I told you before, I will protect the captain’s honor and Twig clearly feels the same way.”

“Great,” said James, “I’m dealing with a younger and an older brother.”

“Got that right,” said Twig, “Hey, Boss, after we’re done hepen‘ your cousin, how ’bout I give you the first run of some peach brandy I’m makin‘?”

“Don’t tell me that you set up a still by the phaser bank array again, Twig,” said N’ka sternly.

“Oh, no, it’s in my quarters, seein‘ I don’t have a roommate.”

“All right, Twig, I’ll join you in a snort.”

“Oh, I almost forgot about dessert! The captain expressed a fondness for chocolate.”

“Ah, y’r sweetie laiks her sweets, huh, Mr. Troi,” grinned Twig, “I dunno much ’bout sweets, how  about you, Boss?”

“Not really my thing, either,” said N’ka, “but I think know someone who does!”

“Who?” asked James.

“Well, I think Dr. Altara has a bit of a sweet tooth,” said N’ka.

“Aquina, why didn’t I think of her before? Boy, does she ever!”

N’ka said, “Computer, locate Dr. Altara.”

The computer said, “Dr. Altara is located in sickbay.”

Turning to Twig, N’ka said, “Go back to engineering and finish up, Twig. When I am done here we’ll have some of that peach brandy.”

“Yessir!” smiled Twig and he tried to jump up to the hatch in the ceiling. Turning to N’ka he asked, “Give me a boost, Boss?”

N’ka stooped down and held out his hands for Twig, who stepped on them and N’ka stood and lifted up Twig up to the hatch and held him as Twig opened it and pulled himself up out of the room.

“I see he’s picking up your bad habits, N’ka“ teased James.

“Well, he does look up to me, Cousin,”

“Yes, figuratively and literally!”

Smilingly evilly, N’ka looked at his cousin he said, “Do you know the quickest way to sickbay?”

James thought about it and said, “It’s a fifteen minute walk from here.”

“I can get us there in five.”

James looked at his chronometer and said, “It’s only because I am worried about getting to my date on time that I would even think about agreeing to this.”

“Hey, this is a good thing to know, Cousin. You never know when your ship will be boarded by enemy forces and you have to conceal yourself in order to ambush them.”

“Very well, N’ka,” James sighed and with grace, N’ka leaped up to the hatch, grasping it with one hand while offering the other to his cousin and to James’ surprise, the moment he grasped Gallagar’s hand he found himself pulled up into a different world entirely. James always assumed that the access passages would be cramped and dusty. Instead, he found that his cousin’s private world was spacious and almost comfy.

“Wow, N’ka, I can see why you spend so much time here voluntarily.”

N’ka grinned at him and motioned him to follow. After walking no more than fifteen steps, he pushed on a hidden panel which opened a hatch above a ladder and climbed up and James, having no other choice, followed him, finding himself in an unused corner of sickbay.”

“James!” said Aquina, “where did you come from?”

“N’ka brought me here from my quarters.”

Aquina nodded in disbelief and said, “What can I do for you?”

“I need some advice about chocolate, Aquina,”

“You mean for your date with Amanda?” asked the doctor.

“Don’t tell me the whole ship knows!” said James.

“Well, I’m sure the captain isn’t aware of it. Actually, she told me the two of you played chess during her extended lunch, which I am very glad to hear.”

“Well, I was trying to do my job, Aquina.”

“Plus, you’re sending off love pheromones all over the place, James.”

“Gee, thanks Aquina, am I that obvious?”

Aquina laughed and said, “Only to me, James, and I am very happy for you. Amanda is a lovely person. Now you said something about chocolate?”

“Yes, I am going to bring a picnic since we’re playing chess in the Twenty-first Century New York City’s Central Park.”

“Ah, I have just the thing, chocolate chip cookies, a classic.”

“Wonderful, Aquina, thank you! Oh, and Aquina-“

Aquina held up her hand, “Don’t worry, I will keep this under my hat.”

N’ka looked confused, “But you’re not wearing a hat.”

James shook his head and said “Thank you, Aquina” and looked at his chronometer, “Goodness, I better get ready to go! Computer—”

“You’re not going like that are you!?” demanded Aquina.

“Like what?”

N’ka sighed heavily, “In your uniform! Hey, I haven’t been on a date for over four decades since I courted J’ashih, but I know at least among humans you should be wearing your civvies!”

“Oh, What should I wear?”

“How should I know? I’m an engineer, not a fashion expert,” said an exasperated N’ka, who turned to the replicator, “Computer, produce clothing for Commander Troi appropriate for the Central Park holodeck program Captain McCoy has scheduled.”

The computer buzzed and an outfit appeared in the replicator which James pulled out and held up to himself. It was a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Looking at it, he asked, “N’ka, what does ‘I “heart shape” “N.” “Y.”‘ mean? I wouldn’t want to offend the captain on our first date.”

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