[Warning – Contains spoilers of the movie]
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This release by Disney is certainly one that I have a great deal of contempt for, as when I first watched it, I was appalled at the storyline. I was so much looking forward to it as it had a great cast, including Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, James Corden, and many other great actors and actresses. Instead, I came out seriously miffed and utterly disappointed – not a feeling that I usually get when it comes to Disney productions.
I had been thinking about it for some time, and the other day, I decided to watch the film again, wondering if my view of it had been somehow jaded by the media hype surrounding the film’s release.
To be quite honest, I think that maybe my first viewing of this film was a bit tainted by a feeling of being let down in the aftermath of all the excitement and anticipation, mingled with utter horror at the plot decisions made throughout the course of this movie. My second viewing of this film proved to be a little less painful – maybe my expectations this time around were rock bottom, so the only way to go was up.
I can give them some credit – the singing is pretty good, if not a little ‘same’y.’ I also have to admit that I quite enjoyed the film up until the end of the first half (where the prince marries our fair maiden – Anna Kendrick). Even the resurrection of the dead cow and the changing of Meryl from an old crone had lifted my spirits, in the same manner as a usual Disney film. If they had ended the film there, then maybe I would have conceded that it wasn’t my favourite, but I would have definitely watched it again.
Unfortunately, they didn’t, though. This second half is the turning point of the film and the death of my interest in ever watching this movie again. It is the point where everything literally descends into an unpleasant mire of ‘dark twistiness,’ as the writers decided to distort everything in order to give it all a more ‘sinister’ ending.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to destroy the forest, cause mass panic, and turn Meryl into an evil prince-blinding witch – who banishes her adoptive daughter to a snake-filled swamp (this may be accurate to the original, but is not very Disney if you ask me) – the writers took things too far, sending the storyline into a downward spiral that makes the film go from bad to worse.
First, they bring the giantess down another beanstalk after Jack, with the intent to kill him – displacing everyone and essentially killing off Red Riding Hood’s grandma (although they don’t actually confirm this, they kind of hint at it). Then they make Prince Charming cheat on his new wife, with the baker’s wife, who has thus far shown nothing but loyalty to her husband. Next, they kill off the baker’s wife after she regrets her actions – no redemption there then! Then they follow this with Jack meeting up with the baker, wearing a scarf that he stole from the dead baker’s wife’s corpse – bit sick if you ask me!
In the midst of all of this, poor Anna Kendrick has her mother – who is embodied by a tree that she planted, and who also acted as her fairy godmother – be snapped and killed in the aftermath of the giant’s death and the arrival of the giantess.
Then, as if all of that wasn’t dark enough, they have the baker desert his baby in his grief – exactly what his father did to him – and, incidentally, exactly what someone would not do if they’d had that happen to them; especially after they went to such great length to have a child in the first place (not to mention that said child is the last living remnant of his late wife).
To top it all off, they also have a ‘blame and shame’ song – laying the blame on Meryl Streep for everything – a song that is utterly terrible and one that I still cannot get out of my head. This culminates in her throwing a hissy fit, tossing around a bunch of magic beans, and finally telling her mother to go ahead and curse her again, before dissolving into the ground in a puddle of tar. But hey, that’s all ok, as no one really sheds a tear for the fact that they all pushed her to that end – as apparently, as well as being totally devoid of morality, none of them have consciences.
As one final nail in the coffin, they all then band together to kill the giantess – because clearly, she hasn’t already been through enough, what with losing her husband. They all seem to be fully on board with ending her life to spare Jack’s, even though he essentially murdered her husband in cold blood. Better yet, they upcycle the corpse of Meryl Streep in order to trap the giantess and then hit her in the head with a rock to send her crashing to her death. The baker, who had a crisis about raising his own child, offers to adopt not just Jack, but also Red Riding Hood, and live together with Anna Kendrick in either some sort of slave arrangement (as she is used to cleaning after all), or as a replacement wife for the one that he has just lost – wow he got over all of that quickly!
I would love to say that I managed to recover this Disney production and add it to my collection as a new favourite, but I am afraid I will never again watch this atrocious train-wreck of a film. In fact, the only saving grace of the entire thing (which is a stretch at best) is that it stars so many great actors and actresses who can sing – but unfortunately, you do get rather sick of them singing about going into the woods… again, and again… and agaaaaain!