A Rehash of things that have been done before and/or better in no particular order:
- A pirate boy has a quest to free his father from a curse – Dead Man’s Chest.
Admittedly, I felt sorrier for Will than for his father, Bootstrap, knowing that he has Elizabeth waiting for him, but it is a repeat of Dead Man’s Chest where Will was trying to free his father from the Flying Dutchman. Most of the sympathy, from me at least, came from the beautiful music.
- A Pirate has a vendetta against Jack Sparrow – Dead Man’s Chest.
Seriously? Why is everyone out to get this pirate? Can’t we have an adventure where Jack is just on the sidelines watching this all unfold like we did in the beginning? He’s funny enough just reacting to the main storyline.
- The movie opens with Jack’s antics – Dead Man’s Chest, On Stranger Tides.
As funny as it is, we’ve seen this before. The opening antics had nothing to do with the later story and go on for too long, as did the island of cannibals and the chase around London before.
- The movie ends with a father’s sacrifice and a long lingering shot of his face – On Stranger Tides.
I really think they stretched things a bit far with Barbossa in this. I felt more for Angelica and Blackbeard. Angelica was certainly more likeable than this uber-feminist.
- Cursed, undead pirates – Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man’s Chest, At World’s End.
SEEN IT! Every single Pirates of the Caribbean film has them; Curse of the Black Pearl, Barbossa and his crew, Dead Man’s Chest & At World’s End, Davy Jones’ crew. The only one that didn’t was On Stranger Tides, and I think the movie was all the better for it.
- The presence of a throwaway bad guy British naval officer – All of the movies.
Why David Wenham? They could have any actor in this unlikable throwaway part. He’s just a one-dimensional version of Beckett from the last two films. Even the Spanish captain trying to destroy the fountain of youth had more depth.
- A discount enchantress/upcoming Mummy travesty/Hela voodoo witch – Dead Man’s Chest.
Seriously, where did she come from? Tia Dalma looked so much more convincing.
- A main pirate bad guy with too much CGI – Dead Man’s Chest.
SEEEN IIIT! There’s really no difference between Davy Jones and this Captain Salazar except for Salazar’s pretense of moral superiority. They both have CGI fish monsters too.
- Gibbs as the backup plan guy – all of the movies.
His rank should be first ‘plot convenience’ mate.
- An aging, rock-star legend featuring as one of Jack’s relatives – At World’s End, On Stranger
Not really a complaint but something that’s been done before.
- Jungle net trap – Dead Man’s Chest.
Just tired of that old thing.
- Falling into a pigsty.
Yuck. Too many times.
- The hunt for a mythological artifact to give one power over the sea – Dead Man’s Chest, On Stranger Tides.
The McGuffin. If it’s not the gold coins, the heart of Davy Jones or the pieces of eight, it’s the fountain of youth or the trident of Poseidon.
- Jack Sparrow tied to a wooden thing, making funny faces as it gets thrown around.
Two instances of this were in Dead Man’s Chest, and that was enough.
Complaints:
CGI young Johnny Depp.
Seen it too much recently. Soon they’ll be replacing real actors with puppets. They’ve done this with Robert Downey Jr. in Civil War and Kurt Russel in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. I imagine they’ll soon be remaking Edward Scissorhands this way.
For more fantastic articles from our latest magazine issue ‘Disney’, please click on the below link:
F&F Winter 2019: Disney