My Dear Pyrrho,
The report that I just received from you can’t be correct. I refuse to believe it. I mean really, I just knew that you’d pull a dumb unrealistic joke like this when you racked up all those years of truancy at Temptation University.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I get it, I really do. Undoubtedly, you got bored with your previously productive work so you decided to liven things up a little by sending a bogus report about the return of the four hideous Human varmints from another world who used to rule the Enemy’s chosen country.
Of course, I applaud your great lie, but I can’t condone the calamity that your note caused down here. I’m a very busy Devil and I run a tight ship so I can’t tolerate such insolent behavior. I mean really, everyone down here knows that the Enemy can’t bring someone back to this world after He sends them back to the other place.
At any rate, given the inconvenient nature of your message, I immediately dispatched one of my secret henchmen to determine just how good at lying you really are.
Well, much to my rage, I discovered that you had, in fact, been very truthful in your report and, even worse, the Enemy has indeed broken with His long-standing precedent by returning those four despicable Human varmints from another world who used to rule His chosen country. Then, to top it all off, you got lazy and allowed your delightfully skeptical patient to meet them.
May my bolt fall on you from above for this terrible indiscretion.
Don’t you know what could happen if your patient spends any time with those four Enemy-indoctrinated Humans? Can you even fathom the terrible superstitions that they could fill his head with?
Well, never mind all of that. I want to reassure you that all is not lost. You can still bring this unfortunate situation under control and successfully bring your patient down to my dinner table. Naturally, of course, I’m willing to lend you my awesome advice so that you can do just that.
I’m telling you, it’s only thanks to my terrific advice and timing that your patient hasn’t believed all the folklore about the Enemy or the four loathsome Humans from another world who used to rule here. Unfortunately, His chosen country has always been a cesspit for His terrible influence but, when it comes to your patient, He is “out of sight, out of mind”.
Of course, now that your patient has met those four loathsome punks from another world who used to rule here, it’ll be impossible for you to convince him that they’re a myth. Well, no matter, he hasn’t met the Enemy and it is His existence that is critical for you to keep out of his mind. If he starts believing all those terrible rumors about the Enemy and His past supposed activities, then you’ll be in serious danger of blowing your assignment and I’ll have to invite you down for dinner.
But anyways, let me begin to correct this little mess that you’ve gotten yourself into with a history lesson so that you might be able to comprehend how you went from doing a decent job to having your assignment start to crumble before my eyes. I mean really, watching your patient start to become a horrible stench for the Enemy’s enjoyment has not been the delight of my eyes.
I’m telling you, this atrocity reminds me of how my last great productive era was waylaid by the Enemy’s interference. Back then no varmint in His chosen country had seen or heard from Him for a whole century and I was able to capitalize on that splendid circumstance by gorging on many tasty varmint souls. Well, do you know what happened? The end result was actually quite similar to your own situation so you would have done well to invest in a Temptation University History book and read it carefully.
Well, since I know that you never bought any books or attended any classes during your years at my most prestigious school, I’ll tell you why this situation reminds me of what happened back then. After a whole century of my side making headway in His chosen country, two of your moronic ancient colleagues got overconfident and slacked off on their assignments. Their apathetic attitudes allowed their patients to fix their eyes on the Enemy, even though they’d never actually met Him.
I’m telling you, isn’t that the dumbest thing that you’ve ever heard of? I mean, why would a stupid varmint trust someone who they’d never met? I mean seriously, I’ve long suspected that because your two ancient colleagues got so lazy their patients were secretly communicating with the Enemy and thus, in fact, had actually made His acquaintance.
That’s the worst part about being in charge of inept employees. If the Enemy doesn’t seem to be right up in your face, threatening you at every moment, you morons decide that He is taking a nap and then you decide that you can rest on your talons.
Don’t you know that when the Enemy seems inactive, it’s the perfect time to make headway against Him? And, don’t you know that He never actually takes naps? It’s a very mundane elementary fact so you should know it even though you never attended your classes at Temptation University?
I mean really, the vermin of this awful world ought to believe that the Enemy takes naps and doesn’t care about their troubles or dreams and that I take naps and won’t bother them or harm them, but my employees should know better.
I intend to prowl around this horrid little world and eat every varmint soul that I can get my talons on.
And do you know what makes your laziness even more egregious? The awful weapon that, your colleague, Pavo’s patient used to incite the Enemy’s interference used to belong to that sensuous older Female ruler who just returned with her despicable relations.
I’m telling you, I exploded with rage when your patient finally accepted that those four awful Human varmints from another world who used to rule here were who they claimed to be because of the signs and wonders that they performed in front of him. I mean sure, it’s not every day that the Enemy sends vermin into this world from that other place, but didn’t the vermin who don’t acknowledge the Enemy’s existence come from that other world too? So, why didn’t you suggest that the four terrible Human varmints who used to rule here are just more of the same crew?
Surely your patient wouldn’t have stuck around to learn what they had to teach him if he believed that they would harm him or make his life even more miserable.
Or you could have suggested that their reappearance was just some crazy coincidence. I certainly don’t see any reason for him to learn that the vermin who come from the other world can only come here if the Enemy Himself calls them. I mean, any excuse would have been better than your patient connecting their reappearance with that horrendous weapon that used to belong to that gorgeous older Female ruler.
I mean really, what if your patient decides to try using that awful weapon to communicate with the Enemy about his own problems and dreams? I’m telling you, you’ll be under one of my dinner platters so fast that you wouldn’t know which way is up and which way is down if that happened.
Of course, given your recent record, I suspect that you’ve forgotten which direction I want your patient to be moving in.
Now, given the vast difference in our intelligence levels, I know that for me to suggest these tactics and for you to implement them are too different things. You’ve always had a pretty spotty record when it comes to suggesting alternative opinions for your patient to follow. I mean, there are just some varmints who he doesn’t need to hang out with and others who he should hang out with more.
For instance, your colleague, Ream has done an absolutely pathetic job with his patient. I have long suspected that he has forgotten everything I taught him about being a modern progressive little tempter because his patient remembers and, even worse, actually believes the old superstitions about the four horrid Human varmints from another world who used to rule here and, worst of all, the ones about the Enemy and His supposed past activities.
On the other hand your colleague, Carios, has been doing some very productive work with his patient. I’m telling you, that tiny tempter has done a fantastic job of sucking the life, faith, and virtue out of his patient. Of course, I must warn you, while his patient is a strong example for your patient to learn from, Carios has been so productive that if your patient continues to hang out with his patient, you could actually end up ruining his fine work.
If that happens, you can be assured that fireballs would explode from my beak.
You must also keep your patient as far away from your colleague, Oxiana’s patient, as possible. I’m telling you, it just infuriates me that his bite has failed to poison his patient or weaken his spirit and influence on everyone who meets him.
Well, mark my words, I’ll be writing to all of your colleagues so that your efforts will be more synchronized. After all, when do my little demons ever work together? They don’t. They just do what I tell them to do.
At any rate, with the return of those four infernal Humans from another world who used to rule the Enemy’s chosen country, you’ll have to really be on your talons. Unfortunately, they’ve met the Enemy on numerous occasions and they will, undoubtedly, be obnoxious in their attempts to sway your patient to believe all the things that He brainwashed them to believe. The best way to counter this is to suggest that your patient accept that the Enemy did indeed exist during their disastrous reign and taught them all sorts of despicable things but that He either died long ago or is so old that He is no longer active much less productive.
It shouldn’t be difficult to make this suggestion believable because, quite obviously, His influence nowadays is delightfully lacking.
You should also suggest that your patient pity those four terrible Humans varmints from another world who used to rule here when they spout off all the things that they remember about their long ago pitiful reign. If he pities them for their simple ways then he’ll be less likely to become interested in learning from them.
I mean really, nostalgia is quaint, but what good is it? Isn’t the Enemy’s chosen country a much more savage place now? So what could be practical about remembering a more pathetically Enemy-influenced era? Certainly, there is no value in your patient finding out that the Enemy has remained the same in every era. Certainly, there is no point in him discovering that the things that He did to interfere with my last great productive era are the same things that He will try to use to thwart me now.
I mean really, the past is in the past, right? Why dredge it up? Who cares?
I’m telling you, this great new modern era is such a fruitful place for my designs to flourish. So many varmints in today’s society have forgotten about contacting the Enemy and, thanks to my vigilance, you’re patient is one of them. Luckily for you, I’m sure that he thinks that talking to the nonexistent Enemy is the same as talking to the ceiling.
Another reason that makes this society a fertile place for me to operate is because a varmint’s actions depend on their opinion about what is right or wrong or good or bad or true or false. Since most vermin in today’s society know that nothing is ever always good or bad or wrong or right or true or false they are, quite naturally, unable to act in favor or opposition to anything. And, of course, if they are forced to act, they do so in accordance with the laws, customs, or prevailing opinions of their country which are always obliged to change from era to era while the things that the Enemy likes and dislikes have remained the same from the very first day.
Now, this brings up a critical flaw in your patient’s behavior. I’m concerned about your lack of ability to fully convince him that there isn’t a real difference between right and wrong and good and bad and true and false. I’m telling you, I just cracked up when Carios’s patient suggested that the Enemy’s ranks call up my old friend, who was leading the Enemy’s chosen country during my last great productive era. But I’m furious that your patient disagreed so vehemently. I’m telling you, fireballs exploded from my mouth when that happened.
Do you know what else infuriates me about your patient? He is entirely too willing to follow orders, even when he doesn’t agree with them. I mean seriously, you wouldn’t even be in this mess if you’d had the brains to enact a little Arrogance into your patient’s attitude. Didn’t he tell Pavo’s patient that he didn’t believe in the existence of the Enemy or those four terrible Human varmints from another world who used to rule here? Didn’t he? Well, how come you were too inept to suggest that he simply walk away when Pavo’s patient failed to be understanding about his legitimate opinion?
I mean really, how judgmental of Pavo’s patient. That young Human brat thinks that he should rule the Enemy’s chosen country instead of your colleague, Fratri’s patient, but he isn’t the least bit sensitive towards opinions that are different from his own. Don’t you think that a leader should take everyone’s opinion into account instead of leading in a way that he was brainwashed to believe the Enemy would like? Didn’t the Enemy create a free country? Surely, He would understand if some varmint disagreed with the way that He ordered things to be done on the very first day. Surely, He wouldn’t want the Human varmints who lead His chosen country to run roughshod over everyone else.
I mean, that’s why I’ve fought so long and hard to keep the vermin who don’t acknowledge the Enemy’s existence in charge of His chosen country; His own ranks are much too intolerant to lead such a modern nation.
But, of course, in the unlikely event that the Enemy is lucky enough to one day slip someone back on the throne of His chosen country who likes Himself more than me during your patient’s lifetime, you should still suggest that your patient follow that despicable varmint’s orders to the letter. After all, no varmint has ever been able to figured out the Enemy’s logic so if your patient does exactly what he’s told every single time then, at some point, he’ll probably get in the Enemy’s way and, with any luck, His plans for this horrendous world will be ruined.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m telling you, It would’ve been really funny to watch Pavo’s patient and the other vermin in the Enemy’s camp just sitting around waiting for that gorgeous older Female’s weapon to work while your patient went home to kick up his feet and smoke his pipe. It would’ve also been funny to watch those four awful Human varmints from another world coming back to their old stomping grounds without a clue as to what to do because your patient went home instead of meeting them? I mean really, if I had even the smallest bit of luck, they would have hooked up with Fratri’s patient’s side and killed Pavo’s patient for being the usurper that he is.
Of course, you can still encourage your patient to walk away. After all, it’s never too late to walk away from the Enemy’s side. But you’d better move fast because if he gets taken in by the ridiculous stories about Him, it will be difficult to encourage him to walk away.
You have three options when it comes to suggesting reasons for your patient to walk away. First, you could suggest that he not only privately believes that the Enemy is dead or impotent but also regularly makes his opinion known. With any luck, he’ll exasperate the four Human varmints who know Him so well and then maybe they’ll decide to dump him. I mean really, why should they hang out with an uppity little snot who keeps talking about things that he knows nothing about? Oh my me, it would be so hilarious if the four terrible Human varmints from another world who used to rule here had forgotten all about the Enemy’s instructions to treat the vermin who don’t believe in Him gently.
I mean really, He has this dumb idea that someone who doesn’t believe in His existence or deeds might change their mind if His ranks don’t ridicule them for their delightful ignorance.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to have forgotten either. Oh sure, the Enemy seems to have the power to call them out of their own world, but He is certainly not in their world to remind them about what He taught them here. I mean, isn’t it enough for Him to run this world? He can’t run more than one of these terribly lame planets.
Of course, it is curious how those four horrid Human varmints from another world who used to rule here have come back under the guise of innocent children, isn’t it? Well, they don’t fool me; I know that they are very dangerous Enemy agents.
At any rate, secondly, you could suggest that your patient become angry with their tiresome patronization. I mean really, why should he put up with that kind of treatment? He is not a child like they so obviously are. What’s that name that they’ve labeled him with again? Something about DLF? And, why do they force him to address them as if they were royalty? I mean, they’re only children.
Thirdly, you could suggest that your patient become disenchanted with their childish squabbles. I’ve noticed that they aren’t always in agreement, particularly on the subject of what the Enemy wants them to do. Now, doesn’t it seem as if His ranks should always agree on everything because that would be the most obvious proof that He was actually leading them? If His own followers disagree about the direction that He is leading them then I would say that He is, in fact, far away from them.
Isn’t that just like Him anyway? Far away when His ranks need Him.
Of course, unfortunately, squabbles amongst His ranks are not, in and of themselves, evidence that He is far away. After all, He is their head and, unfortunately, He is not easily separated from His body. It may be fun to provoke these types of fights among His ranks, but it’s not always particularly productive. And, of course, those four despicable Human varmints from another world who used to rule the Enemy’s chosen country know His habits, moods, and instructions far too well to be swayed away from His path for very long. You better be on your talons, you worthless fool, because they will lead your patient right to Him if you don’t watch out.
Do you know what will happen if that happens? Outrageously large fireballs will explode from my beak. I’m telling you, you’ll be roasted alive even before you get to my ovens.
Well, anyway, I’m pretty sick of writing to you because, well, just because. So let me leave you with this word of warning: you’d better get your patient back on the wide and crooked path before I get another daily update from my secret employees. I’ve been salivating over that delectably skeptical varmint for a long time and I’ll be absolutely livid if he doesn’t eventually wind up on my dinner table.
The Loathsome, Frightening, Power-Hungry,
Tash
(all honor and glory to me)
Author’s Notes: First off, Trumpkin is the first of three characters who appear in multiple books and I’ve decided to handle those characters by giving them a letter for each book that they’re in.
His Demon name comes from the Greek philosopher, Pyrrho, (360-270 BC) who founded the school of skepticism and taught that it’s impossible to arrive at a knowledge of truth because everyone has a different idea of what truth is.
For Pyrrho, this philosophy extends beyond regular daily issues and unto theological ones. His ultimate goal was a state of apathy (or tranquility, since Tash likes those nice soft words). Although Pyrrho does allow for the necessity of not getting in trouble with earthly authorities, he would say that since no belief, like belief in the existence of God, is a certainty acting on that belief is futile.
By contrast, the philosopher, St. Augustine (354-430 AD) says that we can know God exists and what His character is via our senses, our rational, and the testimony of ourselves and others. He also notes our “inner knowledge” that is our conscience. In other words, our conscience tells us what’s right and wrong, true and false, and good and bad. Our senses and rationality often proves that our conscience is right, and testimonies from others confirm that both our senses, mind, and conscience have not lied to us. Then we go out and confirm others’ Christian beliefs with our own testimonies.
Ream is Trufflehunter’s demon, Carios is Nikabrik’s, and Oxiana is Reepicheep’s. I had some fun by giving out hints as to these demon’s personalities, physical attributes, and how they’ll tempt their patients. Think about it and see if you can figure it out before you read their letters.
I decided to approach Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, and Nikabrik by looking at their potential prayer lives (or how they react to Susan’s Horn). I think that Trumpkin represents someone who doesn’t pray or believe in God so, quite naturally, he would discount using the Horn, even when things got tough.
Then when Caspian blows the Horn and Trumpkin goes off to see if the Pevensie will appear, it’s like a Christian leader sending up a prayer and the patriotic unbeliever going off to find the answer, even though he assumes none will come. Of course, then the most stunning thing happens to him. Caspian’s prayer is answered in such a way that he can’t contribute it to anything but an answered prayer.
I also think that Tumpkin (the first creature that the Pevensies meet on their second trip to Narnia) is meant to recall, by contrasting them, the Beavers (the first creatures that the Pevensies meet on their first trip to Narnia). Both live in a country that has outlawed the worship of Aslan and His followers face persecution, often to the point of death but their reactions to the Pevensies are opposite.
The Beavers know all about Aslan, even though they’ve never seen Him, they also know the ancient prophecies concerning the end of the White Witch’s rule and, upon the Pevensies’ arrival, immediately recognize them as the fulfillment of those prophecies and the answer to their many prayers for deliverance.
Trumpkin, by contrast, appears not to have faithfully learned about and communicated with Aslan and thus, when the Pevensies reappear, he doesn’t recognize them as the answer to Caspian’s prayer for help; they have to prove themselves to him..
Another thing that I think is interesting about the Prince Caspian book is the growth of the Pevensies. When they meet the Beavers, they’re clueless about Aslan and the Beavers function as their mentors. However, on their return, it’s Trumpkin who is clueless about Aslan and Tetrarch becomes his mentor. The students have become the teachers..
It’s also worth noting that Telmarine Narnian culture insists upon apathy among the Old Narnians. If they want to stay safe, they make as little noise as possible. At the same time, Trumpkin’s conscience tells him to make noise. He may not acknowledge Aslan’s existence in the beginning but Aslan is close by waiting, as He did with Prince Cor, for the opportunity to speak with him. The opportunity comes when Caspian prays and the Pevensies come.
Bible verses: 2 Cor. 2:15-16; Heb: 11;1, 12:2-3; Psalm 121:3-4; 2 Peter 1:21; Psalm 91:15; Isa. 58:9; John 4:48; 2 Cor. 2:17; Matt. 6:9-13; Luke 11:1-4; Ecc. 4:9-12; Matt. 18:20; Heb. 12:1, 13:8; John 17:1-26; Rom. 15:4; 1 Cor. 2:9; Luke 23:39-43; 1 Cor. 3:18-20; Heb. 5:12-14; Eph. 4:2-3; Col. 4:2-6; Matt.18:2-5; Acts 2:42-47; Eph. 4:4-6; Col. 1:18-20; 1 Cor. 12:12-27; Rev. 2:1-7; Matt. 7:7-8; Rev. 3:20; Matt. 7:13-14