The Green Dragon Caper: 2. Cognac and Crime

The Green Dragon Caper: 2. Cognac and Crime

 There was a stunned moment of silence as they processed what the twins were saying to them. Someone had been attacked? In the Shire? And Mrs. Proudfoot of all people? What was the Shire coming to? 

One of the patrons jumped up. “Who did it Ted?” 

The twins glanced at each other. “Uh, we-we don’t know.” 

“Whoever did it was long gone by the time we showed up,” said Ned. 

Another patron jumped up. “Did she see who did it?” 

The twins shook their heads. “No.” 

“When did it happen?” the first patron asked. 

“Not too long ago, in fact,” said Ted. 

“Mrs. Proudfoot would like it if we went in search of the crook,” said Ned. He seemed a bit hesitant to say it, almost. 

The rest of the patrons jumped to their feet. “We’re on it!” In a matter of minutes, the pub was emptied. While the others combed through the countryside, Daisy and Primula went straight to Mrs. Proudfoot. They found her sitting at one of the benches just outside the Green Dragon. 

“Mrs. Proudfoot! Are you alright?” Daisy rushed towards the older woman and did a quick glance over to see if there were any major injuries that she could see. 

Mrs. Proudfoot raised her hand and gave Daisy a little wave. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Though, the sooner they catch this crook, the better.” 

“We haven’t had any mean-spirited Hobbits since … since the Scouring!” exclaimed Primula. Her eyes widened with worry as she turned to Daisy. “Do, do you think there’s some kind of evil influence coming back into the world?” 

Daisy furrowed her brows. “I don’t know, some people simply choose to do mean things of their own accord.” She tilted her head. “Though, if there is an evil influence working its way back into the world, I suppose we must head out to find it and destroy it.” 

“Oh goodness! You Tooks and your adventurous spirits!” spat out Mrs. Proudfoot. 

Daisy slowly turned her head towards Mrs. Proudfoot and shot her a little glare. “If it weren’t for us Took and our adventurous spirits, the world might very well be a little different now. Or have you forgotten the sacrifices of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins and Peregrin Took? As well as Meriadoc Brandybuck and Samwise Gamgee? Without them, the Shire would be a very different place indeed.” 

Primula shuddered. “Oh, very different.” 

Daisy’s eyes didn’t leave Mrs. Proudfoot’s face. “It is why we celebrate today, is it not?” 

“I suppose,” mumbled Mrs. Proudfoot as she crossed her arms. 

“You suppose?” The guffaw rang out obnoxiously as the stout fellow walked towards them. “You really are an old fool, aren’t you, Stella? I’d rather leave the Green Dragon in Will’s hands than have you buy it and destroy the traditions that have built up over the years because you’re too mean-spirited to think them nothing more than nonsense.” 

Mrs. Proudfoot stomped her feet and practically jumped to her feet. “What, and let you turn it into a house for ruffians? Not in your life, Porto Hornblower!” 

Porto gasped and grasped at his collar. “Me, turn it into a house for ruffians? Come come, Stella, that’s no way to run a business.” 

“As if you’d know the first thing about running a business, Porto.” Another Hobbit lass, a few years younger than Mrs. Proudfoot, but way older than Daisy and Primula, stepped forward. “You’d become so bankrupt that you would bankrupt the bank as well!” 

Porto scoffed and waved his hand. “I have more than enough money to cover that, if that ever were to be the case. Unlike you, Adelaide, you’re so stingy you wouldn’t be able to keep any workers around long enough to even make money!” 

Adelaide Chubbs stepped up to Porto and stuck her finger in his face. “I will make sure this Inn stays around for a long time!” 

Porto tilted his head back and laughed. “You? Keep the Inn around for a long time? You mean like every other business you bought that has, well, gone out of business?” 

“You shush,” growled Adelaide. “ I mean, like you have any right to speak.” 

“Oh you both hush,” said Stella. 

“You know, with as much fighting as you do over the Green Dragon, you might as well let Mr. Gamwich keep running it until he’s ready to sell it,” remarked Primula. 

The three turned to her as one. “You shush!” Primula took a step back, blinking. 

Daisy placed her hands on her hips and took a step forward. “No, you shush! She has a point! Now, if the three of you don’t stop arguing, I have a mind to call a Shirriff and have him escort you all home!” There was a moment of silence as the four glared at each other. 

Primula rolled her eyes and sighed. “You really are being ridiculous.” 

“Oh you …”

“Stella!” Everyone turned. Will was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, brows furrowed. Mungo, Andy, and Robin were standing behind him, clearly ready to help, but eager to stay out of the way of Will’s anger. “I will not have you speaking to any of my employees like that, do I make myself clear?” 

Stella gasped. “Will!” 

“And another thing, I’ve already told each of you once that I wasn’t going to sell, and I’m going to say it one last time. I am not going to sell to any of you!” 

Their mouths dropped before turning to each other. “You tried to get him to sell to you?” the three roared at each other. 

“That was pretty downright low and ornery of the two of you!” said Adelaide. 

Porto let out a boisterous laugh. “But not low and ornery enough to stop you from doing the exact same thing! That’s rich!” 

“Porto Hornblower, I will have you know that my family chose the Green Dragon as our stopping point. I had no say in the matter,” said Adelaide. 

“Sure they did,” mumbled Porto as he started walking away. 

“Right, sure they did. Like I’ll wager you very eagerly persuaded your family to come to the Green Dragon as well!” 

Porto scoffed and waved his hand. “You two are entirely ridiculous!” 

“As ridiculous as you?” Adelaide nearly shrieked as she and Stella followed Porto away from the Green Dragon. The three walked away, their arguments following them like steam from a kettle. 

Will sighed as the arguments began to fade. “I so wish one, or even better, all of them, would stop pestering me about this.” 

Mungo huffed. “You know that won’t ever happen unless they happen to die.” The group turned as one to shoot him reproving looks. He threw up his hands. “So that was uncalled for, but it is the truth. You know they won’t stop!” 

“Though, I don’t understand why they won’t,” remarked Robin as they walked back into the Green Dragon. “When Will’s mind is made up, it’s made up.” 

“Thank you for spelling it out for them,” quipped Will. 

Daisy scoffed. “Nah, we didn’t spend ten years working for him to not know that. Quick, quick! What other little insightful tidbits do you have about our boss?” The others burst out laughing. 

“Har har,” said Robin. “Tease me all you like, you know that’s … I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” 

Daisy chuckled as she patted Robin’s shoulder. “Yes you are, my dear, but don’t worry.” She leaned in and whispered, though she was still loud enough to be heard by the others,  “Your secret’s safe with us.” 

“Why you little …” Robin pulled out a hand towel from behind the counter and tried to swat her with it. Daisy let out a squeal and ducked. The towel sailed over her head. She giggled and took off running. “Come back here!” Robin took off after her, still trying to swat her with the towel. 

“While you’re doing that, please straighten up the tables!! Leave the unfinished mugs for now!” said Will as he walked behind the counter. 

“You think everyone will come back?” asked Mungo as he and Andy joined him behind the counter. 

Will shrugged. “Not sure, but we can clean it up the rest of the way when it’s time to close. Best to not touch any of them until then as you never know.” 

Mungo nodded slowly. “True.” 

“Come on, we can at least get a head start on cleaning and we won’t be here all night cleaning up.” 

Andy held up a finger and nodded. “Now that sounds like a good idea.” He rolled up his sleeves. “I’ll wash!” 

“Oh you always have to wash while I have to run around putting everything away!” whined Andy. 

“I will wash and both of you shall put away,” stated Will firmly. He turned to Primula. “You’ll keep an eye on those two and the front?” 

Primula nodded. “I’m on it.” 

Will grinned. “Thanks.” They each went about their tasks and got quite a bit done. A few minutes later, the patrons came filing back in with the report that they were unable to find the Hobbit that pushed Mrs. Proudfoot. Despite the sobering news, they finished the night off strong. Daisy and Primula finished the selection of songs and everyone left in a good mood. The six were able to clean up fairly quickly afterwards and walked as a group back to their houses. 

After Andy walked into his house and it was only Robin, Daisy, and Primula left, Robin asked Daisy a question. “Is something the matter, Daisy? You’ve hardly spoken at all.” 

Daisy blinked as if she was snapping out of a deep thought. “Oh, sorry, I uh, was thinking.” 

Robin laughed. “Now you’re doing it?” Daisy shot him a quizzical look. “It was that obvious that you were thinking pretty hard.” 

Primula chuckled. “It most definitely was.” 

Daisy looked at her before turning back to Robin with a soft chuckle. “I suppose so. But, I was thinking that it was odd, well, for one, that someone would push Mrs. Proudfoot, even though we all know there are several people who would have done it, just to get back at her. And two …” 

“And two?” chorused Robin and Primula when she didn’t reply right away. 

She furrowed her brows. “And two, both Adelaide Chubbs and Porto Hornblower showed up not long afterwards.” 

“Uh, that’s hardly that big of a surprise,” said Primula. “I bet they were hanging around the Green Dragon all day.” 

Robin scoffed. “Yeah, no one would have believed that Adelaide’s family would have wanted to spend their Bilbo’s Feast so close to their mother’s obsession.” 

Primula nodded. “So true, and a good way of putting it.” 

Robin gave a slight bow. “Thank you.” 

Daisy raised her finger. “There is that too.” She moved her finger to her chin and began rhythmically tapping it on her chin. “But, the whole thing seems quite odd.” 

“Well, I mean, the twins didn’t seem like they wanted to say it,” began Primula. 

Robin’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, now that you mention it, though it seemed mostly like Ned didn’t want to say it. Ted was fine with it.” 

“While I’m not one for distrusting any Hobbits, even those coming from New Shire, something’s been up with the messengers this round.” 

“Yeah, Farmer Grubb got yelled at by one of them today,” said Primula. “He told Father the whole scene was very odd.” 

The group paused in front of Robin’s house. He stretched and yawned. “If you don’t mind, let’s continue this in the morning. I’m exhausted.” 

Primula covered her mouth as a yawn escaped her lips. “Oh boy, me too.” 

Daisy nodded. “And me as well. Yes, we’ll continue this in the morning. Who knows, a good night’s sleep might help us see things better.” 

Robin nodded. “It might indeed. Well, good night Daisy, good night Primula.” 

“Good night Robin!” The lasses chorused as they waved and walked off towards their houses. 

The three were up around mid-morning and met just outside Robin’s house. 

“So, do you think any different this morning, Daisy?” Robin asked as the three walked towards the Green Dragon. 

Daisy pursed her lips. “If anything, I think it odder now than I did last night.” 

Primula glanced at her with a questioning look. “How so?” 

Daisy held up her finger. “Well for one thing, why didn’t Mrs. Proudfoot see him as he ran away?” 

“But, we didn’t ask her about that,” Primula pointed out. 

“I know, but that’s what Ted and Ned said, or at least, very close to it,” replied Daisy. Her brows furrowed. “Plus, she didn’t mention it when we talked to her about it.” 

“It probably didn’t help that Porto and Adelaide showed up when they did either,” pointed out Robin. 

Primula scoffed. “No kidding. Those three just argue like there’s no tomorrow.” 

“But it kept us from asking any other questions …” 

Primula glanced at Daisy. “It wasn’t like you were asking many to begin with. She was getting all up into the whole Tooks and their adventurous spirits before Porto and Adelaide showed up.” 

Daisy sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Yeah, there was that too.” She let out a huff and balled her fists. “But I aim to get some answers today, even if I have to go to her house and get them.” 

“Good luck with that,” muttered Robin. “I think I’ll stay at the Green Dragon.” 

Primula scoffed. “Like Will would let you go.” The three paused outside the door of the Green Dragon. 

Robin shot her a grin as he opened the door. “And to be honest, I wouldn’t let him.” 

The girls chuckled. “Of course not,” said Daisy. “Though, who can blame you. This is Stella Proudfoot we’re talking about. She likes to know everything about everyone and likes getting under your skin.” 

“Well, I …” Robin paused as they stepped into the Green Dragon. Their eyes all widened at the scene that lay before them. Several tables had been toppled. Stools and chairs were overturned. A few were even broken. There were a few mugs scattered on the floor, and shards of glass across the counter. Daisy noticed a trail of capers leading out from behind the bar and to the door. She turned and looked around the outside, the trail picked up again a couple of feet away from the front door, near one of the side tables and continued into the brush just outside the Green Dragon, but not beyond that, it seemed. 

“What, what happened here?” asked Primula as she and Robin stepped carefully into the inn. “Who would do such a thing?” Daisy took one more look at the trail of capers into the bush before following her friends into the inn. 

Robin righted a chair and surveyed the rest of the hall. “Um, you, you had better go get Will. And a Shirriff.” 

Daisy’s eyes followed the trail of capers until it disappeared behind the bar. “Why would the crook leave a trail of capers?” she whispered. 

Robin stepped to her side and looked at the trail. He titled his head. “Why indeed. Unless …” His eyes widened. “The wine!” He quickly stepped towards the bar, stopped, and took a step back. His eyes were wide, his face lost all color, and he began to sweat. “G-go get Will. Go get Will!” 

“What? What happened?” The lasses stepped forward to look. Robin tried to stop them, but they looked over the bar and saw it. Primula screamed. A Hobbit laid face down, stiff and unmoving, in a pool of liquid.

 

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