The first thing Seraphina noticed when she began to wake up was the pain in her head. Had she had a restless night and her head was hurting from her tossing and turning? She tried to recall what had happened the day before. She remembered training with Nathan, being ordered by the general to question Amaro, arriving at Amaro’s cell, him holding her to the cell wall, the Resistance pilot aiming the gun at her, and then…blackness.
Seraphina’s eyes shot open and she sat up, only to have pain explode in her skull. She gripped her head with both hands as she tried to steady her breathing. With the ache in her head, it was hard for her to think. She looked around at her surroundings.
Where am I? She thought. She was in a bed in what she assumed to be living quarters. The bedspread was white while the walls were gray. There was a door to her right which she assumed led to the bathroom. She slid out of the bed and when she tried to stand, she fell back down onto the bed. She was too dizzy to stand up.
The door to the bedroom slid open and there stepped none other than Amaro. He was dressed head to toe in black, making him look like a living shadow. He turned to look at her and he walked towards her.
Seraphina’s instincts screamed only one thing: Run! The only exit was the door that Amaro had just entered through. Despite the dizziness in her head Seraphina stood and stepped back from the approaching Sith. She bumped into the gray wall.
Amaro continued towards her. When he reached her, he grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the wall. “I’m not going to hurt you.” he said, his voice sounded odd with the helmet on.
Seraphina tried to pull her arm free but Amaro’s grip was too strong and she finally gave up. “You keep saying that.”
Amaro released her arm. “I swear, Seraphina, that I won’t harm you.”
Seraphina rubbed her arm where Amaro had grabbed her. “How do I know that I can trust you and that you won’t kill me?”
“If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you long ago.”
“If you haven’t killed me yet then I suppose you’ll try to turn me to the Dark Side?”
Amaro shrugged. “I considered it.”
Seraphina glared at him. “It won’t work.”
“I know that you’ve been struggling to fight off the Dark Side for quite some time now.”
“Yes, that’s true, but I know that you struggle to keep the Light from overpowering the darkness inside of you.”
“There is no more light in me.” Amaro growled.
Seraphina rolled her eyes. “That’s exactly what Ben Solo said to my mother but look at what happened. Someone who was so immersed in the Dark Side wouldn’t care about keeping me here. If I have so much light in me as you say, then wouldn’t it be easier to kill me?”
“I don’t want you dead.”
“Why not?”
“You ask too many questions. For now, you are my special guest.”
Seraphina scoffed. “‘Special guest’? That’s code for ‘important prisoner’.”
Amaro glared at her before walking towards the door. “Take a shower. I’ll be back in an hour.” He paused before leaving. “And don’t think about trying to escape. I’ll know if you try any attempt at leaving.” He left the room without another word.
Seraphina rolled her eyes. She was smart enough not to try to leave…for now. She took a shower and when she exited the bathroom, she spotted a dresser and walked over to it. She pulled a drawer open and stared at the contents with disdain. The drawers were filled with black-colored clothing. Reluctantly, she pulled on one of the black shirts and a pair of pants. They fit perfectly. She looked down at the clothing and groaned. She hated black.
She found a brush in one of the bathroom drawers and brushed her wet hair. She began braiding it when she heard the sound of her bedroom door sliding open. She sensed Amaro’s presence entering the room. He walked towards the bathroom and noticed the way she was doing her hair.
“Do you always put it in a braid?” he asked as she secured the end of the braid with a rubber band.
“Yes,” she answered. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“You’ve been doing your hair like that since we were kids.”
“It helps to keep it out of my face, especially if I’m on a mission.”
“You Jedi never do anything fun.” He turned and walked towards the door leading out.
Seraphina stepped out of the bathroom. “Oh and the Sith do?”
Amaro stopped and looked at her. “I never said that though we are a bit more spontaneous.” He made his way towards the door. “Don’t try anything funny. I’ll be back later today to check on you.”
“What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
“I have left you a datapad so that you can read. Just don’t try to do anything that would anger me. If you want to go anywhere on the ship then you’ll have to wait until I get back.” He left the room, the door sliding closed behind him and Seraphina heard the sound of a lock engaging.
She rolled her eyes and scanned the room. Besides the bed and dresser, a black leather couch and a wooden table were also in the room. Seraphina grabbed the datapad and turned it on. As she searched for something interesting to read, her thoughts turned to Amaro. Why did he capture me? She thought. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just kill me?
She settled for reading about lightsaber forms and her eyes scanned the text as she read. She read for hours, studying anything that seemed interesting to her that didn’t have to do with the Dark Side. Finally, the door opened and Amaro stepped in. He seemed slightly surprised at the fact that she was reading.
“Have you eaten anything?” he asked.
“No,” she answered, not looking up from the content she was reading.
“Why not?” he asked, sounding frustrated and crossing his arms.
“I’m not hungry.” She lied. She was hungry but she didn’t trust the food that the First Order would have for her.
Amaro approached her. “They’re not going to poison you.” He leaned over her shoulder to see what she was reading. “You are under my protection while on this ship.”
Seraphina tilted her head back to look at him. She was surprised to see his mask off and it only reminded her that she was looking at her old friend. She quickly looked back at the datapad she held. “Is that so?”
“Yes, it is. If anyone so much as touches a hair on your head, they will answer to me.”
Seraphina gave a small laugh. “If you made that threat then I don’t think anyone’s going to touch me. If I’m lucky then they won’t even look at me for fear that you might slit their throat.”
Amaro smiled down at her even though she didn’t look at him. “You’ve been in here for hours. Would you like to get out?”
“And where, exactly? I doubt you’ll take me to the hangar or the bridge.”
“No,” Amaro agreed. “But we have a training room. I thought, perhaps, that you might want to spar. I have your lightsaber and you’ll only be allowed to use it if you’re with me.”
Seraphina was silent for a few minutes before saying, “Let’s go.” She stood but immediately regretted it when dizziness overtook her senses and she wavered. Amaro caught her before she could collapse and set her on the couch.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m just a little dizzy.” She said, holding a hand to her head.
“It might be from lack of food and water. I’ll have a droid bring you something.” He left the room and Seraphina stayed on the couch, her head still pounding. She closed her eyes in an attempt to diminish the pain. The door opened and Amaro walked in with a droid behind him. The droid set the food on the table and left. Amaro handed her a cup of water. “Drink this. It should help your head.” Seraphina took the cup but looked at it skeptically. “I didn’t put anything in it. I was being honest when I said that the food and water wasn’t poisoned.” Seraphina took a sip of the liquid.
She let her gaze wander to Amaro and couldn’t help but think of the time they had spent as children. Amaro noticed her watching him. “Why do you keep looking at me?”
Seraphina looked down at the cup in her hand. “I was just thinking about the time that we spent on Coruscant together at the Temple.” She said quietly and hoped that mentioning his old life wouldn’t cause him to become angry.
Amaro sighed. “That was a long time ago, Seraphina. I’m not the same boy I was then.”
Seraphina nodded solemnly. “I’ve noticed. You keep telling me that Josh Aland is dead and has been replaced by Amaro Ahriman. But I can’t help but believe that Josh is still alive, somewhere inside of you. That would explain the light still inside you and the reason that you can’t kill me.”
Amaro clenched his fists as he stared down at the girl in front of him. Seraphina didn’t look up at him, sensing his growing frustration. “Perhaps there is a different reason I haven’t killed you yet.”
Seraphina still wouldn’t meet his gaze. She was afraid to see what was in his eyes. “And what reason is that?” anger spiced her voice. Her own frustration was begging to be let out and she tried to shove it down.
Amaro chuckled, the frustration still evident through the Force but he was doing his best not to let it out just yet. “I must keep some of those secrets to myself. And be careful, Jedi. You mustn’t let your anger out. Didn’t your master teach you that?” He taunted.
That did it. The plate of food on the table exploded. Seraphina was finally looking at Amaro but her eyes were filled with hatred. She stood up and marched over to him. For someone who was unbalanced only minutes earlier, she had very good stability right now. “How dare you talk about Master Aven!” she yelled. Slowly, her tense form began to relax. She looked down and turned away from Amaro. “I know that you’re trying to make me angry and get me to turn to the Dark Side.”
Amaro was slightly stunned at what had just happened. She had been angry a moment ago; that was what he had been hoping for. But then, she calmed down. The Force seemed to amplify her sorrow and suffering. Her heart was broken. When Amaro had killed her master, her heart had shattered. How had he not noticed earlier?
He should have known better than to hurt her further. Her family had abandoned her on Tatooine, her best friend had left her alone at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and her master was dead… Amaro had the urge to comfort her. Where was Amaro getting this idea to comfort her and soothe her hurt?
The Force… he decided. It was telling him to console his prisoner. Why would it do that?
His master had told him to always listen to the Force. So he did. He moved towards Seraphina and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. She turned around in his arms and hugged him in return. He hadn’t hugged anyone in…Wow. It had been five years since he had hugged anyone. He glanced down at Seraphina and noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks.
She had been crying silently. Her breathing was shaky and Amaro was sure that she would pull away once she realized that she was hugging him. But she didn’t. She stayed near him, his arms still wrapped around her and holding her close to him. Her own arms were hugging him, a silent request to not let her go. Amaro noticed three more tears making their way down her cheek. The last time he had held her like this was when she had been terrified by something on a mission, she, Amaro, and their two masters had been on.
Seraphina finally pulled away and she stepped back, wiping the tears away. “I’m sorry, I…” her voice trailed off. Apparently, she couldn’t figure out what to say. Amaro could easily tell that she was desperately trying not to cry again. She was still in a fragile state; ready to break at any moment. She took a deep, quivering breath and a tear slid down her cheek unchecked. She wrapped her arms around herself.
Amaro could only remember one time where she had been like this. And that was during the mission he had thought about only moments before. Seraphina rarely ever seemed to break down. She always seemed strong and in control. But on rare occasions did she ever cry.
Amaro couldn’t help himself. He pulled her in for another hug and she buried her face in his chest and cried. Her body shook in his grip at her silent sobbing.
“When will this fighting end?” she whispered.
“The only way we can stop this fight is if you surrender to me because-“
“That’s not what I meant. I mean this war between the First Order and the Resistance. It’s been going on for so long now, starting with Anakin and Obi-Wan.”
Amaro sighed. “War is inevitable. There will always be something to fight for.”
“And what are you fighting for?” she asked him.
“What do you mean?”
“What are you fighting for?” she repeated. “The First Order, power, what?”
Amaro pondered this. “I-I’m not sure.”
“So you’re fighting for some unknown reason?”
Amaro couldn’t believe his answer. He didn’t know what he was fighting for. He pulled away. “Now that you’re able to stand, why don’t we spar?”
Seraphina nodded and followed Amaro out of the room. He led her down a bunch of winding hallways. Finally, they ended their trek at a set of gray doors. Amaro opened them and they stepped inside. Once inside the spacious gym, Amaro handed her the silver hilt of her saber. She activated the blade and watched it leap from the handle.
Amaro gripped his hilt. He still uses a cross guard lightsaber hilt. Seraphina thought. She remembered when his lightsaber used to be green instead of red.
“Are you ready?” he asked her, lightsaber humming in his hand.
“Are you?” Seraphina countered as she got into position. “If I recall correctly, I won our last duel.”
“You had Solo shoot me! That doesn’t count! And I have you as my guest-“
“Prisoner,” she corrected.
“I would think that makes me the winner of our last encounter.”
Seraphina snorted and rolled her eyes. “You had that traitor shoot me for you.” Amaro attacked her; his swing was blocked by her blue saber. Seraphina scowled at him. “When did this turn into an aggressive negotiation?”
“About thirty seconds ago.” Amaro smirked. He withdrew from their fight before sweeping his red blade at her feet.
She jumped back and he struck again, not giving her time to attack. All she could do was defend. Amaro pressed on and she was forced to retreat several steps. Amaro noted her stance.
“Keep your stance wide.” He advised.
She glanced down briefly and Amaro swept his leg under her. She fell down, smacking the back of her head against the ground. Amaro winced at the sound of the impact. He knelt next to her and placed a hand gently on the back of her head where a bump had taken up residence. She winced at the contact.
“So much for not hurting you. I’m so sorry.” Amaro apologized.
Seraphina gave a small laugh despite the pain. “I blame the floor and my poor stance.”
Amaro helped her stand. “Come with me.” He led her down the halls towards her room. Once they entered, he ordered her to sit.
She obediently sat down on the couch and Amaro approached her from behind. “How bad is it?” he asked her.
“It’s not that bad.” The Force told Amaro that she was lying.
He placed two fingers on the bump and she winced. “I barely touched it.”
“I-I know. It-it’s just sore.” She said quietly.
Amaro covered the bump with his hand and focused on it. Energy ran up his arm and ended at Seraphina’s head. He felt the bump shrink and then vanish. When he removed his hand, the bump was gone. Seraphina rubbed the back of her head.
“How did you do that?” she asked, turning around to look at him.
“Force healing.” He answered.
“I didn’t know that you had that ability.”
“Not many Force-sensitives do.”
“Isn’t Force healing a Jedi technique?”
Amaro scoffed. “Is that what they taught you? Force healing can be used on both sides of the Force.”
“I…didn’t know that.”
Amaro sighed. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. The Jedi are liars.”
Seraphina crossed her arms. “Jedi sitting right in front of you, remember?”
Amaro smiled. “How could I forget? You’re the youngest Jedi Knight in history. But I know that you’re having doubts about being a Jedi.”
Seraphina uncrossed her arms and looked away. “I am not.”
“You feel as though you’re not meant to be a Jedi. Perhaps you’re meant for the Dark Side.”
Seraphina scowled at him. “Not likely,”
“Then what? If you’re not supposed to be a Jedi or a Sith, then what are you supposed to be?” Amaro paused. “A Gray Jedi?”
Seraphina knew what a Gray Jedi was. They operated with both the Light and the Dark Side of the Force. They walked the line down the middle of the Force but had to struggle so as not to fall to one side. She didn’t say anything.
“Search your feelings. You know what I’m saying about the Jedi are true.” He exited the room and Seraphina was left alone with her thoughts.
She wouldn’t succumb to the Dark Side but she also knew that she couldn’t belong solely to the Light Side as well. She knew that Amaro was right. The Jedi had lied to her and they weren’t the peacekeepers everyone thought they were. Perhaps she was meant to be a Gray Jedi.
Author’s Note
I have been in such a good mood lately. I finished writing my first book for this series that I want to do. Now I just have to do some major editing on it and hopefully get it published. And it is an actual book, not a fanfiction. This was one of my goals for 2016 and I am so happy it was accomplished. This is a 19 chapter story so far and that is the most I have written when doing a story. And I’m only 14!
I am thinking about bringing this Star Wars story to a close within the next few chapters and creating a sequel. Let me know your thoughts about that.
So what did you guys think of Amaro comforting Seraphina? Are we sure that Josh Aland isn’t still in there somewhere?
And what about Seraphina not believing that she is meant for the Light Side? What do you guys think of her becoming a Gray Jedi? Or maybe a Sith?
Amaro still remembers his time with her when they were both Jedi Padawans. You guys do remember that little scene where Amaro was showing her that blocked memory of she and him sparring, right? I couldn’t help but repeat that part.
So Seraphina has some doubts about being a Jedi, Amaro claims that Josh is dead but he was just holding Seraphina in an attempt to soothe her heartache, and hopefully you guys will love hearing about some Amber stuff later on. I think I made it pretty clear that Amber does not like her father. She has Daddy issues.
Please review and tell me if you guys would like a sequel to this story when I am done with it. Help me readers, you’re my only hope. : )