My Dear Absin,
It’s just such a shame that your colleagues couldn’t handle their assignments, isn’t it?
I’m telling you what, you and my new friend had a real partnership going and then everything blew up in your face because your idiot colleagues are completely worthless.
Well, you’d better believe me when I say that I’m truly sympathetic to your plight and you can bet that I’ll continue doing everything in my power to help you bring your varmint down to my dinner table. After all, it wasn’t your fault that those two Humans from another world and their froggy guide came waltzing down to my new friend’s dark lands, spewing all kinds of pretty words about the Enemy’s nonsensical propaganda on so-called freedom and redemption.
Oh, my me, I can still remember when you and my new friend teamed up to turn your patient’s head from the path that the Enemy wanted him to follow. Just thinking about it makes me giddy because it makes me even more determined to obtain my goal of sitting on His throne.
I mean, shouldn’t every varmint have the option to experience the kind of freedom that I’m offering them? Of course, they should.
Of course, it’s not just about momentarily turning a varmit’s head, it’s about myself eating a decent meal. That’s why I get the biggest kick when a Male varmint’s head gets turned by a beautiful Female.
I just can’t hardly describe how much fun it is to watch him suffer in the name of the great and highly productive tactic of Lust.
So, let me ask you, didn’t my new friend do a spectacular job? Of course, she did. That’s why she’s my new friend.
And, the best part was watching your patient disregard the so-called advice he received from his so-called friend. I knew I had him when he ignored that pestering old punk so, naturally, I ordered my new friend to pick your patient off quickly before the Enemy could cheat and take him away from me.
Say, I’ll bet that you didn’t know this, since you never paid attention in class at Temptation University, but the Enemy has cheated before. For example, take that Male from another world who was here but is gone again now. Did you know that he has been here before? And did you also know that he is actually my property?
I’m telling you, I won him fair and square some decades ago, but the Enemy has cheated so much with that useless jerk that he won’t even acknowledge my claim on his soul now.
I mean really, he actually believes the Enemy’s hogwash about being in His service. Can you even fathom that? Why would the Enemy accept such a dirty little pig into His service?
Oh, my me, it’s the same type of cheating move that He has now used on your own patient and you must see about correcting that inconvenience immediately.
After all, I’m not in the mood to lose a soul who has been marinating for as long as your patient has.
Now, to accomplish this, you should remind your patient that he chose to follow my new friend. With his newfound so-called insight about her, dwelling on this suggestion could provide lots of delightful guilty feelings and, with any luck, he’ll get bogged down with Despair and Humiliation until he is utterly useless for the Enemy’s service.
Now, before I go on, I’d like to clear up something about my reputation that the Enemy and His agents has been spreading around since this horrible world was created.
No matter how He tries to spin it, I am not the Father of Lies.
Quite frankly, I don’t know how He even started that rumor. I mean, your patient did follow my suggestion to go off with my gorgeous new friend, didn’t he? Of course, he did. And neither he nor the Enemy can ever wash that stain away, no matter how much He and His followers claim that He can.
I mean, no one can just undo their past, right? Of course not. It’s just a ridiculous and dangerous lie to claim that the Enemy can wash a dirty varmint clean and I am determined that your patient shouldn’t fall for it.
So, here’s a newsflash for your patient. It’s actually the Enemy who is lying. And here’s the proof. You simply remind your varmint that since he can’t ever be good enough to make it to the Enemy’s own awful Country on his own then, naturally, that means that he isn’t redeemable.
Say, did I mention how delighted I am that the Male and Female from another world went away again? Frankly, I don’t appreciate how the Enemy butted in and told them where to find your patient and I’m sure that He cheated somehow to obtain that information.
I mean, my new friend had your varmint enslaved for years without any interference then, all of the sudden, He knows all about everything. Well, I can’t think that such a trick is anything but cheating and all I have to say is that the information had better not have come from you or one of your inept colleagues.
After all, I’m a very jealous Devil and I’m determined to keep all my prizes on my own dinner table.
Oh, my me, those punks were such an unproductive influence on your patient and, undoubtedly, the Enemy made a mistake when He kicked them out because they would have probably continued to teach your patient to work for Him if they had stayed.
However, as delighted as I am by His timely mistake, I must caution you in the strongest terms about your colleague, Barb’s patient. That froggy varmint is still a threat to my plans and, if he isn’t managed correctly, he might keep your poor susceptible patient’s fragile mind on things that the Enemy likes and then he might forget all of the things that my new friend taught him.
Yes, that’s right, you fool, I still intend to salvage this wreck that you’ve gotten yourself into and I intend to do it by mixing your patient up. I mean, did you notice how confused he was while my new friend was debating with those two Humans from another world and their guide?
This was because my new friend’s very reasonable arguments were so enchanting that he couldn’t help but to think that she was a much better shepherd than the Enemy has ever been.
I’m telling you what, I wouldn’t have allowed you or any of your inept colleagues to handle such a delicate operation as that debate because you’re all too stupid to challenge the Enemy when He is right in the room with the vermin, but my new friend was spectacular.
Of course, I know that it wasn’t your fault that those two buffoons from another world were so illogical that they didn’t even understand her very good examples about cats and lamps but, unfortunately, it is your fault that your patient eventually went along with them. I mean really, you were actually doing a decent job before but now I’m just livid because you couldn’t finish the job at crunch time.
But, no matter, because I can still salvage this meal and take His throne as well.
You know, if the vermin could only see things the way I see them, I’m sure that I could enlighten them and then this terrible world would be a much tastier place. But, of course, you and your lazy colleagues don’t ever pull your weight so it’s no wonder the Enemy thinks that His position is secure.
Well, don’t you worry because even if you worthless employees aren’t ever going to hold up your end of the deal, you can bet that I’ll always hold up mine so let me explain what you need to do.
First, you and your colleagues must make it a priority to silence the Enemy’s voice or at least encourage the vermin to think that He is so old-fashioned and foreign that they don’t recognize Him or want anything to do with Him.
Personally, I think that your patient will do nicely in helping my side to do just that if he continues to have trouble distinguishing the Enemy’s voice from my new friend. I mean, he is their leader now and, naturally, his subjects have been conditioned to follow their leader so if you can lead him astray again I might not punish you as severely as your current situation demands.
But, of course, you must always be mindful that for this tactic to work, you must make suggestions that will coax your patient to become so fixated on his delightful past that he forgets to think about the things that the Enemy claims are waiting for him in the future. Then, with any luck, he might be encouraged to fall for the tactic of Anger over the Enemy not showing up at his hour of need.
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if you could pull that off? I mean, just think about what the future might hold if the ruler of the Enemy’s chosen country was angry with Him for not showing up when He was needed?
Now, I’m sure that you don’t really believe that such a thing could ever happen but if you’d been smart enough to pay attention in class at Temptation University, you’d know differently.
I have, in fact, coaxed many a generation of varmints to go against everything that they claimed to know and love and, naturally, I got to indulge on many rotten souls.
The Loathsome, Frightening, Power-Hungry,
Tash
(all honor and glory to me)
Author’s Notes: Absin is named for Absinthe, which is green-colored liquor. I must admit that its green color was the most interesting thing to me when I was picking demon names, as it reminded me of LGK. But, I also learned that Absinthe was once thought to have hallucinogenic powers, but in more recent years those claims have been thought to be exaggerated. That reminds me that Rilian probably once thought that he couldn’t live without the super hot woman who he met in the woods, but then he learned that he could and should leave her.
Next, I’d like to make two comparisons. First, I want to compare LGK to the White Witch and the Telmarines. In using her wand to turn offender to stone, the White Witch used a quick ruthless method of murder. However, the Telmarines preferred the slower spirit-killing method of repression and segregation and it took them centuries to build up to the kind of society that we find at the beginning of Prince Caspian.
With LGK, even though some think that she is “part of the same crew” as the White Witch, she starts out with a Telmarine-style spirit/mind killing indoctrination of Rilian and spends at least ten years molding him into the type of puppet king that she wants him to be. Heck, just the fact that she wants him to be a puppet king makes her more devious than the White Witch was. But then when his rescuers arrive and Puddleglum stomps out her enchanted fire and she has no choice but to accept that the gig is up, she has no problem with turning into a big green snake and attempting a quick ruthless White Witch-style killing.
My second comparison is Rilian and Prince Cor. Both of them have lost their mothers, gotten abducted, and had to live a different life than the one they were born into. Then, at the end of their books, they’re finally restored to their correct station and relearn their true identity.
Now, there is one very critical difference between Rilian and Cor’s stories. Cor is an infant in his cradle when he is abducted and therefore bears no responsibility for the situation that he’s in at the beginning of The Horse and His Boy. But Rilian is a man who allows himself to fall in love with the wrong kind of woman and therefore bears some responsibility for what happened to him.
It isn’t victim bashing to say that either. LGK also bears responsibility for her part in Rilian’s abduction, but her wrong does not absolve him of his wrong.
All that being said, I think Rilian must feel pretty low as he begins his reign at the end of The Silver Chair. Not only did he lose his mother and get himself enslaved by her murderer but then, just when he gets rescued and things start looking up, he gets home just in time to watch his father die. Undoubtedly, he probably wished that Caspian could have hung on a bit longer to help him acclimate back into regular royal life before he had to step up and be king on his own.
Then, to top it all off, Eustace and Jill (two-thirds of his rescuers) are taken out of Narnia while he is attending to other things so he doesn’t even get to say goodbye.
Now, let me go back a bit and look at what Rilian was doing during the debate with LGK. Did you notice how he mostly leaves it to Eustace and Jill to argue for Aslan’s side and then Puddlegum swoops in for the “kill shot’? So, what’s Rilian doing? I think he’s probably just listening to the debate and trying to make sense of it. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know, deep down, that Aslan is right and LGK is wrong but, heck, he’s been enchanted for at least a decade and is having to battle a second round of enchantment as he is listening to the debate. That has to be a pretty good reason to keep his mouth shut and just try to get his head on straight!
So, Rilian becomes king in the midst of a personal low and I wouldn’t wonder if some of the scars from his captivity will be with him all the way to Aslan’s Country. That means that, for the rest of his life, he’ll enjoy good days when Aslan’s voice is louder and he’ll battle bad days when LGK’s voice is louder. Naturally, the struggle between the two voices will, like King Solomon after King David, affect both how Rilian leads Narnia and how he leads his own family. That could, in turn, affect how his children also lead Narnia and their own families. Certainly, it’s something to consider as we’re almost ready to transition to the The Last Battle letters and there aren’t any in between characters to guide our way.
Bible Verses: Isa. 61:1-3; Luke 4:17-21; Matt. 7:13-14; Prov. 7:1-27; Ecc. 4:9-12; 2 Cor. 5:16-6:2; John 8:44; Psalm 51:7; Isa. 1:18; John 1:29; Rom. 5:8; Psalm 139:1-24; 2 Peter 3:8-9; Col. 3:1-10; John 10:1-5; 2 Tim. 2:13; Rom. 13:1-2, 12:12, 5:1-5; 2 Cor. 4:7-18; Phil. 3:7-14; Heb. 11:1, 12:1-3; James 1:2-4; Psalm 121:1-8; John 14:15-21