~ by Hannah Skipper
My Dear Denailion,
I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when I received your latest letter. Do you know why that is? It’s because I’m not disappointed at all, you worthless fiend, I’m livid. And, of course, I don’t mind telling you all about that.
Now, let’s see, you wrote that you lost track of your little varmint while she was playing with Picquet’s patient. How could you do that? Don’t you understand the dangers of taking your eye off your patient? Didn’t you learn anything at Tempter’s College?
Of course, you must understand that I’m only furious because I care about you and, naturally, I want you to be successful. After all, how would it look on my record if it came back to Our Father Below that one of my students messed up their assignment as badly as you clearly have?
But I digress, so let me get back to your letter.
It says here that that you managed to recover your little varmint after just a minute, but that she seemed to be much more adventurous than she ever was before. Further, you write that she has now taken to doing things like riding, swimming, and climbing, and that she has even learned how to milk and bake. Well, I mean really, if you aren’t the biggest moron whom I’ve ever mentored, then I don’t know who is.
You see, when a Human varmint has such a drastic change in their personality, it is not only a sign your incompetence, but also it generally means that the Enemy has somehow gotten a hold of them. And, of course, given Picquet’s recent trouble, I wouldn’t doubt that that’s exactly what has happened.
However, I really care about you, so I’m willing to help you fix this little mess that you’ve made. Luckily for our side, it should be a very simple matter to fix by using a delightful little tactic called Fear.
Now, since you’re a real nitwit, let me take a minute and instruct you on why this tactic should work for you and how to go about administering it correctly.
As for why, I need only refer to the fact that your patient is now learning all sorts of new skills that she was never interested in before. And why was she never interested, you might ask? It’s because she didn’t want to take risk. I mean, haven’t you noticed that before this unfortunate debacle, your patient was only interested in doing something if she could be assured that everything would work out?
I’m telling you, it has been so much fun to watch her over the years because she wasn’t interested in failure, injury, discomfort, or ridicule. It’s so much easier to effectively suggest that a varmint stay home when they are like your patient was. And, obviously, they aren’t as receptive to the Enemy because He prefers it when they trust Him enough to follow Him regardless of where He goes.
Say, I’ve got a story that will illustrate this tactic very well. You see, long ago, back when I was a student at Tempter’s College, there was a famine in the Enemy’s chosen country and a certain Female and her family moved to another country in order to survive. Well, some time went by and this Female’s two little Male brats grew up and married native Females in the land where they were staying.
After that, more time passed and eventually all three Males died, and then the famine in the Enemy’s chosen country lifted.
Now, before I go on, I’ll just warn you that this story has a productive side and a less adventurous side. I think I’ll tell you about the less adventurous side first so I can get it out of the way and then we can commemorate the glorious productivity.
See, unfortunately, one of the two younger Females was so intent on going back to the Enemy’s chosen country with the old hag that her tempter couldn’t dissuade her and, unfortunately, she ended up becoming the ancestor of someone whose story the Enemy’s ranks like to talk about. I would prefer not to go into it.
However, as I said, there is a productive side to this story and, naturally, I want to talk about that. You see, the other younger Female fell for her tempter’s suggestion that she should be afraid. And, why not? If she had gone to the Enemy’s chosen country, they would have expected her to change her entire lifestyle and, naturally, they probably would have ridiculed her whenever she messed up.
Of course, being the tempter’s tempter that he was, the demon who was in charge of her soul didn’t stop with one suggestion. He also added the suggestion that the vermin in the Enemy’s chosen country would ridicule the older Female for bringing home a foreigner who never did anything right. I’m telling you, that might have been the suggestion that sealed the deal and sent that younger Female back home where she belonged.
See how effectively that same strategy could work for you? I bet not; after all, you’re an idiot. Well, let me spell it out for you. Use the Fear tactic.
Of course, I must warn you, Human varmints don’t like to admit to being afraid, so you should disguise the tactic with words like “cautious” or “prudent” or “reasonable” when you make suggestions. Humans don’t seem to mind those words and, in fact, they often applaud themselves for being cautious or prudent or reasonable. I’m telling you, just thinking about it makes me want to laugh.
Just make sure you also work on driving a wedge between Picquet’s patient and your own because that little jerk could interfere with your tactic. Punks like him are very dangerous when they ally themselves with other vermin. The Enemy’s side refers to this as encouragement, but that’s a sham. It is really just interference.
Well, I’ve got to head out now. After all, you aren’t the only cretin that Our Father Below has put me in charge of. However, you must remember that I care about your worthless hide, so don’t be slow to write if you need my awesome help again and always make sure to update me on how things are progressing.
Your affectionate Uncle,
Screwtape
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Author’s Notes: Screwtape’s story is found in Ruth 1:1-18.
Denailion comes from the torture of de-nailing which, as it sounds, was the torture of pulling the victims’ toenails out. As such, his responsibility is to pull Polly away from our Lord because He is the source of her newfound courage.
Out of all children, Polly is the one that we know the least about. Even Digory gets a cameo appearance in LWW and a mention in VDT, but between MN and LB, we hear naught about Polly. And, even in MN, where she is a main character, we find out more about what she can’t or won’t do than what she’s good at or likes. Even the episode where Digory is busy chasing Jadis around London sheds light on her lack of personality. We know that during that episode she is stuck in her room for coming home wet and muddy after, her parents assume, she went off to a strange park and spent the morning jumping in puddles. Makes for a pretty lame assumption from the people whom, we assume, know her best, doesn’t it?
So, the question is: why is Polly important? Would the Chronicles come out any differently if she wasn’t written in? The answer I think is that she is the voice of reason that keeps Digory alive long enough for him to be able to build the wardrobe and host the Pevensies. He, in turn, encourages her to step out in faith and live a little.