My Dear Pavo,
Did you know that I have recently received a very disturbing memo that concerns yourself?
Frankly, it is unfathomable to me that, in this great modern day and age when we have so many temptations at our disposal, one of my employees could mess up his assignment as badly as this memo says that you have. So, being the fair-minded employer that I am, I decided to write to you to determine whether or not I’ve just been reading a halfway decent lie.
Let me ask you, has the Enemy really called your patient to join all the guests who are gathering in His own awful Country for some feast that He claims to be preparing for them?
Now, I don’t think that I need to remind you that I do my due diligence when cases like this pop up so don’t be stupid when you give me your answer. After all, I’ve already preempted you by sending a spy to His own terrible Country to check on your patient’s status so I know very well that I’ve caught you napping.
And, even though that idiot spy was captured and thrown out because he forgot about the Enemy’s dress code and didn’t wear the correct disguise, I know that he managed to do his job and that’s more than I can say for you.
Say, have you ever heard the saying, “those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it?” Well, you should know all about that saying because it describes you to a T.
I mean really, I knew that you were doomed for failure every time that I caught you napping in History class at Temptation University because if you had stayed awake you would have known about my pledge to eternally torture the worthless fool who dared to repeat the grievous mistake made by one of your ancient colleagues.
And, quite frankly, I think you blew your assignment even more spectacularly than your ancient colleague blew his.
See, back then, the Enemy supposedly told that ancient varmint that his little brat would one day save that southern country that He loves so the old punk had a cheating lie to hang his hat on whenever your ancient colleague tried to suggest something more reasonable.
But you, what did the Enemy ever tell your patient? Oh sure, He told him to “be content” a long time ago but, I ask you, be content in what?
It seems to me as if He was just blowing a bunch of smoke around when He spoke those lines because He was perfectly willing for your patient to suffer for years and years even though He claims that He will always help His ranks when they call on Him.
Oh my me, your performance is absolutely inexcusable because the Enemy was practically cooking your jerk for me and you still couldn’t bring him in. Are you really so dense as to let Him get away without even explaining to your patient why He is making him suffer?
Of course, I’m not surprised by the Enemy’’s lack of concern for matching up His sayings and actions because He has been ignoring that since forever, but I’m still livid that you didn’t take advantage of such an easy kill.
So, let me ask you again? How could you mess this up? How could you blow it? You had it made, you stupid idiot, you had it made.
I mean seriously, how am I not running this shabby little world yet? If He treats every varmint the way that He has treated yours for the last decade or so then my dinner table should be filled to overflowing with reasonable and enlightened varmints who saw how two-faced He is and went looking for a better deal. I can only conclude that the blame lies with all of my worthless employees, right down through the ages.
Because it most certainly isn’t my fault.
Now, I think that it would be productive for me to give you this little tidbit of information before you come to dine with me so that you’ll understand why I’m inviting you down here. Of course, if I wasn’t as fair and reasonable as I am, I might just let you fry without helping you out first, but I’m not like that, am I? Of course not.
At any rate, I’m quite sure that you could have avoided all of this trouble if you had only taken better care to distract your patient from using that horrid weapon that used to belong to the older Female varmint who used to rule the Enemy’s chosen country.
I have to say, you did a much better job of keeping that horrendous weapon out of your patient’s hands when he was younger and less experienced in battle against my side, but you’ve really let yourself slide and, believe you me, when we finally sit down to have dinner together I will make you pay for it.
Seriously, how hard can it be to keep that old weapon away from your old coot? Surely there are newer and flashier weapons out there that you could’ve distracted him with. Aren’t the vermin always looking for the best and fastest way to get things done? And, obviously, that old rusty thing wasn’t up to the task this time.
I mean, how long did it take before the Enemy heard it and decided to cheat?
Oh, my me, you idiot, you fool, you imbecile; if you’d only paid attention in History class at Temptation University, you would’ve learned about how that junky old weapon is the very one that the Enemy has always used to convey secret messages to His ranks.
I mean, it takes a special kind of worthless moron to not understand how something like can spoil all of my hard work and you can bet that fireballs explode from my mouth every time I hear about another varmint using it.
Well now, I have to say, writing this letter has made me very hungry. Maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking about how much I deserve to be the honored guest when the Enemy has that party that He claims to be preparing. I mean everyone, including Himself, knows how important I am but He just refuses to give me what I deserve.
So, anyways, would you like to be my dinner guest right now?
My poor table has been pretty sparse lately, but I’m not worried anymore. In fact, I think I will eat you.
The Loathsome, Frightening, Power-Hungry,
Tash
(all honor and glory to me)
Author’s Notes: I pulled Eustace and Jill in the last chapter instead of now because when Rilian becomes king, upon Caspian’s death, they leave Narnia. Their interaction with Caspian afterwards happens in Aslan’s Country. I also opted to not even mention them in this chapter because it’s written when they are in Aslan’s Country, which is out of Tash’s sphere of influence, and therefore they aren’t on his radar.
So, isn’t it great how in a book that’s filled with so much fear, loss, humiliation, and failure we are finally given, in the closing pages, a glimpse of ultimate victory and the glorious future that awaits? Personally, I think it makes for a great ending to The Silver Chair and a perfect prelude to The Last Battle.
Now, about Susan’s Horn. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’ve always wondered why it isn’t even mentioned in The Silver Chair? I mean, sure, she isn’t in that book, but she wasn’t in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and that book mentions that Caspian had left the Horn in Narnia for Trumpkin to use in case of dire emergency.
I think that Caspian must have remembered how difficult The Voyage of the Dawn Treader was without the Horn so I like to think that he took it with him this time. Also, wouldn’t that explain why Trumpkin isn’t so content in The Silver Chair? It seems to be a matter of who is praying and who might not be. And given that Caspian is sailing with the expressed purpose of talking to Aslan, I think that it’s safe to assume that he has the Horn.
I also think Caspian is comparable to King Lune in this chapter, just as Rilian is to Cor.
Bible Verses: 2 Tim. 4:7-8; Rev. 19:9; Matt. 22:11-13; Rom. 5:1-5; 2 Cor. 12:8-9; Psalm 18:6; Heb. 11:1, 13:8; Matt. 7:7-11; Luke 11:9-13; James 2:14-18; Phil. 4:4-7; Jere. 29:11-13; Matt. 23:12; Luke 14:11