My Dear Aeth,
Do you know what I hate about you? Oh no? Well, let me tell you, your worthless cretin. Besides the fact that I hate you because hating is simply what I do, I hate you because you’re such an idiot that you probably don’t even know what a great opportunity you have to help me ruin the Enemy’s grand plans. I mean really, here you have an amazing opportunity right in front of you, and I’m certain that you’re so worthless that you don’t have a clue as to where to begin. Now, tell me, I’m right about this, aren’t I? Of course, I am.
Now, tell me, where would a stupid idiot like you be if I didn’t care about you? Where would you be if I wasn’t perfectly willing to help you’re sorry forked-tail out of this jam that you’re in? Answer me that, will you? You’d be on my dinner plate, that’s where you’d be. And don’t you forget it because I don’t tolerate failure.
Luckily for you, I’m willing to help you out because I really care about your sorry worthless hide. But, as I just said, I have no patience for a little goon who can’t get anything right, so I’ll never repeat these instructions, got that? Of course, you don’t. You’re too stupid to understand.
I’m telling you, you’d better be relieved that I’m willing to help you this one time because that will keep you clear of me for a little while. I mean, I know perfectly well that you’ll mess up and be on my dinner plate in less time than it takes for me to tell you, but I really care about you, so I’m willing to give you a shot at tempting in the field anyway.
Now, let me begin. Listen up, you stupid moron, because this is the only shot that you’re going to get.
As you’ve no doubt seen and heard, the Enemy has been working hard to create a disgustingly amazing new world and now He has taken precautions that will keep the Witch, who is obviously on my side, out of His chosen country. This alone is enough to make me blow my top.
I also saw that He used those two little brats from another world to help Him, so they are undoubtedly His agents and I’m just glad that they’re gone now too. I have hopes that we’ve seen the last of the vermin from another world, but knowing the Enemy, as I do, I really doubt it. Let me tell you, it would be just like Him to spoil my grand plans to take His throne by bringing in other varmints from another world. You and all my demons down through the ages will need to stay alert and advise me if any more of these varmints from another world ever come again. And, let me tell you, woe to them that don’t alert me right away.
Well anyway, as you know—or at least you better know—I’ve set up two of your worthless colleagues, Et and Hyl, as tempters of the first King and Queen in this new land. They will be responsible for beginning to create the conditions that will help foster hate toward the Enemy in the Human varmints that will populate this world. You, however, my fine example of a moron, are going to be responsible for helping to create those same hateful conditions in the four-legged, feathered, and scaly varmints that He’ll create. Do you know why that is? It’s because your patient is one of the first varmints that the Enemy gave speech too, and he will undoubtedly hold some sway in this world due to the fact that he is close to it’s first leaders. When he speaks, the other varmints will listen, so you have to make sure that he’s speaking about things that I like.
Now, let me just tell you, I really pity your poor patient, I mean that. I really do. Actually, I don’t because I don’t pity anyone other than myself because the Enemy hasn’t given me the honor and glory that I so obviously deserve. But. listen well, you stupid fool, I better not hear about your patient discovering that. And I’ll hold you accountable if he does.
Anyway, our little joke will be for you to suggest to your patient that he is a poor ole sap who the Enemy has tricked into leaving the safety and security of everything that he has ever known and made him come into this wild new land where scary varmints are allowed to simply roam free.
Of course, to hear the Enemy tell it, your patient has come to an amazingly wonderful new land and this new land is your patient’s land, along with everyone else, and your patient is going to inherit the land and pass it along to all his, undoubtedly, many descendents. That’s just horrifying, isn’t it?
Well, it should go without saying that you should keep the Enemy’s point of view out of your patient’s head, but you’re such a worthless imbecile that I figured that I should say something now and not take a chance on you slipping up. Of course, I’m sure you’ll slip up anyway.
Let me tell you, the Enemy has set it up perfectly—He always does, you know—and unfortunately, my Research Department hasn’t found even one example where this wasn’t the case. Anyway, not only has He called your patient out of the world that he was born in and given him a disgustingly wonderful new land to live in and raise all of the, undoubtedly, many brats that he’ll father, but He also gave your patient a new name.
Now, to be sure, your patient getting a new name from the Enemy will cause you—and, more importantly, me—problems, but isn’t it just like the Enemy to cause problems for me? I mean really, the Enemy is forever making His presence known by doling out spectacular talents and gifts to those varmints who are in His camp. Then He goes and changes their names so that they’ll always remember that He has given them what they have and claimed them as His very own. Don’t you understand how impossible it is for me to compete with that? I mean really, the Enemy, unfortunately, has such an advantage because of His great love for every varmint. Don’t you understand what you—and, more importantly, me—are up against? Of course, you don’t. You’re a stupid fool.
Now, granted, you—and, more importantly, me—might have a shot at dealing a blow to the Enemy if we cared about the vermin like He does, but that’s just not who we are, is it? Of course not. I mean really, the Enemy just loves the vermin so much that they say—and, unfortunately, it’s quite true—that the Enemy knows how many hairs are on each varmint’s head and He knows it whenever any of them drops dead and He knits them together in the Female’s womb. I mean really, that’s such a disgusting display of love that I’m going to be sick just explaining it to a worthless moron like you.
But, I digressed. Let me explain just how to get around the Enemy’s advantage. I think it would be beneficial if you kept your patient’s old name on his mind as much as possible. It would be an excellent idea to work with Et and Hyl when you do this because their patients are very close to your patient and I’m sure that their words will have the greatest influence on him.
Now, I’ll bet that your clueless peabrain is wondering why your patient’s name is so important that it matters what he’s called by or remembers most often. Am I right? Of course, I am. Well, let me tell you, you worthless piece of slime; the more your patient remembers his old name, the more he’ll remember his old life. And the more he remembers his old life, the less he’ll remember the Enemy and what He has done for him.
You see, your patient’s new name is important to the Enemy because He gave your patient this new land and promised him some other stuff and then He changed his name so that your patient would remember all these promises. The Enemy would call this His covenant with your patient.
Of course, unfortunately for you, the Enemy has made it so that, regardless of his name, your patient is very unlikely to forget what He has done for him, anyway. Do you know why that is? It’s because the Enemy also gave your patient wings, and lets just say, physical evidence is hard for us devils to argue against. All your patient has to do is look at himself and he’ll, unfortunately, remember every horrid thing that the Enemy has given him.
Of course, the Enemy Himself will fight you to keep His ranks in obedience to Him because He’s very jealous for them. Did you know that He also loves to have daily contact with His varmints? Did you know that? Of course, you didn’t. You’re a worthless fool. Well, let me tell you, He’ll make every attempt to remind the varmints in His camp that He is there for them whenever demons like you try to mess with their heads. You have to be prepared for this, because it will happen. Have I made myself clear, you stupid idiot?
Well, anyway, let me discuss another one of the Enemy’s promises to your patient—another aspect of His covenant, if you will. Didn’t He say that your varmint would be the father of his entire species?
Well, oh my me, that’s a lot of little brats flying around, don’t you think? I mean there could end up being as many little brats as there are stars in the sky or sand on the seashore. Ugh, how terrible—unless, of course, my demons can bring them all down to me.
Now this promise is actually something else that you can use to tear your patient away from the Enemy. The tactic that I’m referring to is call Doubt and it’s quite simple to implement, but you’re very stupid, so I’m positive that you’ll have to listen very hard in order for my instructions to stick in your worthless peabrain. Don’t forget, I won’t be repeating this, got that? Of course, you don’t.
Anyway, doubting the Enemy is a marvelous tactic that puts any varmint on a direct downward slide straight to me and in your varmint’s case, it can be used most effectively.
Let me explain, since the Enemy told your patient that he is supposed to become the father of his entire species, your job is to make him doubt that promise. This is so easily done that I just want to laugh. Surely the Enemy has messed up and delivered your patient into my hands, even if there is no evidence to support that claim. Of course, you’d better not mention that little inconvenient fact to your patient, will you? Well, I better not catch you doing it, that’s for sure.
Do you know what else makes me laugh? The fact that this Doubt tactic actually works. I mean really, as I just said, there is no evidence that would support the vermin’s doubts about the Enemy, yet they do doubt and Doubt is one of our best tactics.
But, let me get back to my point. See, all you need to do is ask your patient one little question to begin the process of Doubt. Of course, it will work best if you ask him this question several times a day and always keep it in his mind, so by all means, do that. Anyway, the question is this: How will he become the father of his entire species?
Now, this is a perfectly legitimate question, after all, do you see any Females of his species in this new world for your patient to lust over? And yes, just to be clear, I prefer that the vermin lust rather than love. Well, anyway, do you see a Female? Of course, you don’t, you worthless moron, there aren’t any. Now, I’m sure that you realize that it takes two to tango, so how is your patient going to end up fathering a bunch of little brats?
Now, unfortunately, all of the Enemy’s promises will eventually come true. There just isn’t even one example where this wasn’t the case, But if you play your cards right—and you’d better play them right—you may be able to succeed in making your patient forget that the Enemy promised him all these detestably wonderful things. If you succeed in that, then hopefully, when your patient does receive the blessings that he’s been promised, he’ll simply attribute his success to nature, or even better, his own poweress.
Remember what I said about the vermin needing daily contact with the Enemy to keep Him on their hearts and minds? Well, when they don’t keep in contact with Him all sorts of great things happen. I find it absolutely hilarious when they start thinking that they’re responsible for the blessings that He gives them.
Now, there’s another way in which you can coax your patient to doubt the Enemy. In fact this scheme is something that will help your colleagues, Et and Hyl, too so, by all means, you should do it.
Unless, of course, you don’t care to help them, and really, why should you? We devils are naturally inclined to think of ourselves before we think of each other.
Of course, this particularity doesn’t apply to me. I really care about you and I want you to do your best.
Anyway, this scheme is also based on something that the Enemy said. But, isn’t that just like me? All of the things that I teach you worthless devils to do is based on tweaking the Enemy’s instructions to make them more favorable to me.
Well, anyway, didn’t He tell all His new Talking Vermin that they were free and should never be subjugated by anyone? Didn’t He say that? Of course, He did. Now, here’s the interesting part, right after He finished saying that bit of dribble, didn’t He load His two Human agents up on your patient’s back and didn’t He make your patient take them on a ride that was so long and, undoubtedly, tiring that they were gone overnight? Isn’t that what happened? Of course, it is. Now, doesn’t it seem as though the Enemy is trying to have His cake and eat it too? I mean, He said all that hogwash about the Talking Vermin being free and then He goes and makes them work for Him.
Of course, to hear the Enemy tell it, He would undoubtedly say that in times of great trouble—He is well aware that we’re here, after all—everyone must do what they can do best. He would also, undoubtedly, point out that He gave your patient everything that he needed—wings and detailed instructions—to complete the task that He gave him, so it wasn’t unduly difficult.
Now, I see that since your patient has returned, he seems to be putting more and more trust in the Enemy, and why shouldn’t he? Everything about the journey went exactly like the Enemy said that it would. Unfortunately, the Enemy’s instructions—just like His promises—always work. There are no exceptions.
Do you realize what this means, you stupid piece of scum? You’ve failed to take advantage of an opportunity to get your patient to doubt the Enemy. You stupid worthless fool, how could you do this? The Enemy tested your patient’s faith in Him by putting those two brats on his back, even after He said that your patient was a free varmint, and now that things have turned out well, your patient will most likely trust Him all the more.
Didn’t I already tell you that I don’t tolerate mistakes like this? I mean really, even before I’ve told you about a tactic, you’ve already completely blown it. Seriously, I’m working with a miserable idiot here. And don’t say that you didn’t know better, because I don’t care in the slightest.
Well, anyway, I really need to get away from your worthless hide. I think a nice scorching glass of sulfur water will make me feel better. Just let me know if I can help your miserable skin again, okay? After all, you may have lost this first battle, but the war for your patient’s soul is still on. Actually it really isn’t because once someone joins the Enemy’s camp with all his mind, body, and soul, then the Enemy can claim victory, but hey, I’m willing to string you on for a while and let you toy with your patient’s head.
Anyway, don’t worry about being a bother if you need me to repeat any instructions because I really care about you and I want you to do your best.
The Great, Terrible, Irresistible, Horrible,
Tash
(all honor and glory to me)
Author’s Note: Aeth is named for Aethon, one of the four horses that pulls Hades/Pluto chariot in Greek/Roman mythology. In The Rape of Proserpine, he is described as “swifter than an arrow”. Also, interestingly enough, the ancient Greek word, “aithon” means “blazing” or “burning”, or “shining” and in a less strict sense, can denote a “red-brown” or “tawny” color. Fledge had a copper colored coat and I picture him as being very swift, so I thought that Aethon could be seen as his evil twin.
Bible verses: James 2:19; Matt. 10:29-30; Luke 12:6-7; Psalm 139:13; Exodus 34:14; Lam.3:22-23; John 10:27-30